Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu
“It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.
But, I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before.
I’ll be there for you, cause you’re there for me too.“
I’ll Be There for You (Soundtrack “Friends”)
The Rembrandts
The suicide of a young Bollywood actor recently and a few other famous celebrities in the past, got me thinking about loneliness, desperation and life.
The last few months have been tough on a lot of people, especially some of my single friends. There are many that are used to living on their own and like the freedom to do what they want, when they want, without having to answer to anyone, but there are those moments when the loneliness is getting to them or they are bored and missing the human connection, a hug that in the past was taken for granted.
Some have been in relationships before and have been jaded or hurt and are afraid to open themselves up to new relationships. Even with the world wide web and all the dating apps, it still is not easy to find that perfect mate, your soulmate that they say, everyone has out there.
If you are tired of being alone, maybe you need to start looking at this differently, maybe there is no one person for you. Perhaps there is more than one soulmate out there; one that likes reading and discussing books with you, or another soulmate who loves your kind of music and concerts, or one who loves to travel or go on adventures or another that just likes to sit at home and relax.
Then there are others who are living in a loveless relationship and wish they were alone because the connection has worn off or they have drifted apart. If you have a strong bond and are open and understanding, that can get you through the tough times. People can be lonely even when surrounded by hundreds of people, admired and looked up to, as we have seen with the many celebrities who have taken their own life.
How does one get to that stage? Unless you have been through such total despair, loneliness, thinking that no one can help, it is hard to understand. I know that pain of wanting to end it all, many years ago, but luckily, having come through it alive, I realize now that when I was at my lowest, I could have gone to so many people that could have helped me but I was ashamed to ask. At that time, it did not feel like an option but there is always someone who will help. All you must do is, open up and trust.
For anyone who is desperate and needs to talk to someone, if you are going through something that you think you cannot take anymore, please know that you are not alone and that you can connect with me and I will find a way to help you or connect you with someone. Even if you think no one cares, you must keep trying because there is always hope when you are feeling total despair. The good and the bad never last forever and this too shall pass.
“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” — Maya Angelou
“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps and others emphasize my loneliness.” ―Anaïs Nin
“The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.” – Mitch Albom
“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel alone.” – Robin Williams
“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” – Orson Welles