Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Don’t try to change me
Or rearrange me
Don’t try it
Accept me for the way that I am
You know I love you
Oh, how I love you
But you got to understand
That I am what I am

I see you look at me
With those wondering eyes
You seem to ask yourself why
I do the things the things that I do
Oh, I can’t seem to get through to you
So don’t try to change me
Or rearrange me”
Don’t Try to Change Me – Shalamar

Why is it so hard to let them be?

Why do we make excuses for our loved ones? Why do we try to mould them to think the way we do? Why do we want and expect them to act a certain way or stop acting a certain way? Why do we feel hurt or sad when they refuse to do what we want them to do?

Why do we try to control their actions and behaviours so that our friends or family think positively about them? Why can’t we just let them be? No one can change unless they are ready to change. No one can push anyone to change.

As I was thinking of this topic, I came across Mel Robbins post promoting her book, The Let Them Theory, the premise of which seems to be about accepting people exactly the way they are without judging them or trying to change them to be more like whatever you think is the ideal way.

How peaceful life would be if we were not anxious about how our loved ones acted or reacted. We want our friends and family to love them, so we try to control their actions but when that does not work, we feel hurt. We cannot control how anyone reacts, so letting go of expectations is the answer to living a life free of anxiety.

This also applies to the workplace and in every area of your life. You do and be your best self and let go of expectations. The folks that care about you and love you will also accept you as you are because they want you to be happy.

Sometimes we may not agree with one another, but each person is an individual with their own experiences and desires, so all we can do is accept their choices and let them know that they have our love and support. Live and let live is the key to living a happy life.

As the new year approaches instead of making a long list of resolutions that will probably only last a few weeks, why not decide to stop judging or expecting others to be who you want them to be and instead allow them to do and live as they please?

“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.” – Brian Tracy

“Unconditional love teaches us the power of letting go and allowing others to be free to follow their own path.” – Paulo Coelho

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Laozi

“When you love someone unconditionally, you accept them for who they are, flaws and all.” – Brené Brown

“Unconditional love means not expecting anything in return but cherishing the happiness of the person you love.” – Thich Nhat Hanh