At the Edge of the Ocean

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“So give me a sign that we can start over again
Let’s go for a ride, could this be where it begins?
And all this time, you held it inside somewhere
So throw me a line, we can weather the storm ’til the end

And I run ’til I meet the sun
And I run until I reach the seas
At the edge of the ocean
There’s a place to start over again
At the edge of the ocean
Holds a place, we can start over again”
Edge of the Ocean – Stick Figure

Every moment is a new beginning, and you can start anytime. All you need to do is decide to change something and take the first step. It is never too late to start over and you are never too old to start something new or to start over.

Starting over or beginning something new can be scary or it can be exciting. You get to decide how you want to label it. The energy that you emit when you are excited about something is totally different from when you are afraid.

You can apply this to anything whether it is a new job, a new country or a new skill.

Last week I signed up for guitar lessons and had my first lesson. It was so exciting to begin to learn something new as I pictured myself being able to play some of my favourite songs someday. I was so envious of my friends that can play the guitar and other instruments and so I finally decided to give it a shot.

If you are in the midst of change or new beginnings, think of all the things that can go right instead of focusing on all the things that can go wrong. This will give you that excitement to look ahead and make plans for the future. Nothing in the past is ever lost, they just become beautiful memories.

In the recent past, I have had some friends and family members that have lost a loved one and adapting to life without their loved one has been hard for some of them. When they ask me how I am able to move on and live life to the fullest, my answer is, the best way to honour their memory is by being happy. That is what they would want for you, and you would want the same for them if roles were reversed.

Life is precious and you only have one shot so do what you love or love what you do. Mindset and attitude will make change either easy or stressful depending on how you decide to label it. My motto is have fun every day, don’t just wait till the weekend. You only live once…at least in this lifetime!

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” – Andy Warhol

“We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.” – Harrison Ford

“There is nothing permanent except change.” – Heraclitus

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

Secrets that you keep

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“I hear the secrets that you keep
When you’re talkin’ in your sleep
I hear the secrets that you keep
When you’re talkin’ in your sleep
When I hold you in my arms at night
Don’t you know you’re sleepin’ in a spotlight
And all your dreams that you keep inside
You’re tellin’ me the secrets that you just can’t hide”
Talking in your sleep – The Romantics

What secrets are you keeping?

Do you have any secrets in your past that you are hiding? Are you ashamed of something or do you feel responsible for or guilty about something?

Feelings of shame, guilt, fear, anger which have not been acknowledged and resolved can make you sick. “You’re only as sick as the secrets that you keep” – Sophie Gregoire.

Your emotions can affect your body as well as your mind. If you have unresolved feelings or trauma, they can manifest into physical symptoms.

Almost everyone has kept a secret, but will revealing it always relieve the burden?

Not always but storing it in your body is not the way to deal with secrets.

Suppressed emotions can cause anxiety, depression and other stress related diseases. Some people may turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain.

Whatever your preference, it is important to feel the emotions, acknowledge what you feel and find ways to resolve them before they create any autoimmune diseases.

Studies have shown that psychological and physical stress have been implicated in the development of diseases. When you experience a lot of stress, your body releases stress hormones which can cause inflammation and weaken the immune system.

There are many ways to release pain. Some people may find that writing their feelings in a journal or having a good cry helps. Other may find punching a bag, running, swimming, dancing or talking to a friend or therapist or just plain screaming into a pillow helps. In some cases, seeking professional help makes a lot of sense.

Not all secrets are bad. If you do have secrets that bring back happy memories, feelings of joy, enjoy them and go back to that happy place often because those feel-good hormones can also affect your mind, body and emotions in a positive way.

In conclusion, while secrets are a natural part of life, it’s essential to discern which ones to keep and which to release. By doing so, we can navigate a path toward emotional wellness and a healthier, more fulfilling life.

“You’re only as sick as the secrets that you keep” – Sophie Gregoire.

“When a secret is revealed, it is the fault of the man who confided it.” –Jean de La Bruyère

“If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.” – Khalil Gibran

“It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.” – Oscar Wilde

Everybody’s Got a Hungry Heart

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Everybody’s got a hungry heart
Everybody’s got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody’s got a hungry heart

Everybody needs a place to rest
Everybody wants to have a home
Don’t make no difference what nobody says
Ain’t nobody like to be alone”
Hungry Heart – Bruce Springsteen

Everybody’ got a hungry heart…we are always yearning for more and more things, thinking that material things will bring us happiness. A bigger house, a bigger title, more money so that when we have all the material things we desire, we will finally be happy and successful.

Success and happiness are really a state of mind. Happiness does not come from having a lot of money. True happiness comes from being grateful for all that you have now and, appreciating all the wonderful intangible aspects of life.

What is the point of having material wealth if there is no love in your home or if you are too ill to do the things you want to do in your life? Money helps to some extent but does not equate with success or happiness in life.

The pursuit of happiness and success is a personal journey, unique to each of us. To me, success is having balance in all areas of my life and appreciating and being grateful for all that I have in my life.

Happiness is freedom to do what I want when I want to, happiness is good health, great relationships with my family, friends, colleagues.

Happiness is having fun and finding joy in every day, not waiting for the weekend to be happy.  

Happiness is being kind and helping others when I can. Happiness is realizing that strangers are just friends waiting to happen. Happiness really is a state of mind. 

The more grateful I am for all the wonderful things in my life, the more things I have, to be grateful for. Over the years I have learnt that what I think about I bring about. Our mind is so powerful, it is listening to us every moment.

Life is short and no one will remember us a couple of generations from now so do what makes you happy, be yourself and your tribe will find you. Those who care and love you will accept you for who you are and the rest…does it matter what they think?

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Suess

“Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it.” Lou Holtz

“Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.” Vivian Komori

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Confucius

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” Elbert Hubbard

I heard it through the grapevine

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“Ooh-ooh, I heard it through the grapevine
Not much longer would you be mine
Ooh-ooh, I heard it through the grapevine
And I’m just about to lose my mind
Honey, honey, yeah

You know that a man ain’t supposed to cry
But these tears, I can’t hold inside
Losin’ you would end my life, you see
‘Cause you mean that much to me”
I heard it through the grapewine – Marvin Gaye

Life can be full of rejections and although painful in the moment, they usually turn out to be for the best because they teach you lessons that you needed to learn.

When you look back at your life, you will realize what you once thought was rejection was really protection. Whether it was rejection in love, or a dream job or dream house that fell through, it ended up taking you through a different path which you probably did not anticipate.

It is best to try not to let your past, blackmail your present, to ruin a beautiful future. Think of these as life lessons instead of rejections.

You may have thought you found the dream partner and it was going to be forever, but people go through different experiences and change and outgrow each other. Some stay on in the marriage because of the kids, finances, beliefs or a million other reasons.

There is no perfect person and there is no right or wrong because we only see things from our beliefs and our perceptions. Whatever environment and society you grew up in, created certain beliefs which from your perspective became the right one and that is how you judged the situation.

In hindsight you learn that no one can make you happy and there is no one person that can be everything to you.

I remember this great dialogue in a Hindi movie called “Dear Zindagi” (Dear Life) where Kiara asks Dr. Khan if there was such a thing like a perfect relationship…one soul mate? His response…

“Why just ONE soul mate..

You can have a perfect Coffee soul mate with whom you enjoy having coffee,
you can have a perfect Gossip soul mate with whom you share the day’s gossip,
you can have a Musical soul mate with whom you share and enjoy the same taste in music..
you can have an Intellectual soul mate, with whom your intellect level matches and you can discuss ideas and thoughts easily..
you can have a Romantic soul mate, with whom you share a romantic relationship.
Why put the burden of so many emotions on ONE relationship!”

Rejections faced when starting out in your chosen career path can sometimes be a blessing. You may have gone to school to study to be an engineer or an accountant but were unable to get a job in your field, so you took the first job offer that came your way to pay the bills. You realized that you loved what you were doing and made a career out of it.

You may have been laid off from your job and struggled for months before finding something that you had not ever considered as a job option. In those moments of helplessness, staying positive is hard but the only thing to do because what you think about, you bring about.

When you think negative thoughts about something or someone, you attract the very same negative energy and vibration for yourself. When you are grateful, positive and happy, you attract more of the same for yourself.

The simplest yet the hardest thing to do is to stay in the present. You only feel anxiety and fear when you are thinking of the past or when you worry about the future.

In this moment you are safe so every time your mind wanders to the past or future, consciously bring it to the present because your present is going to create the future that you want.

Keep practicing this and one day you will notice you are a different person, more at peace, happier and not needing to control everything. Living life becomes easier when you let go of attachment to the past or the future or even a situation or a person. You have everything in you to know what you need, to live the life that you want to live.

“You can’t change your past. The only thing you can change is your perspective of your past!” – Dr Jeffrey L Gurian

“The biggest problem any of us ever face is our own negative thinking.” – Robert Schuller

“Negative thinking definitely attracts negative results.” – Norman Vincent Peele

“One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen.” – Nelson Mandela

“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” – Joyce Meyer

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot

Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Don’t let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it’s always someone else I see
I’d just allow a fragment of your life, to wander free
But losing everything, is like the sun going down on me
Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me – Elton John and George Michael

Nothing ever stays the same forever. There will be good times and bad times, happy times and sad times. Nothing is ever guaranteed in life except change and death.

I know some people are going through challenging times and are desperately seeking a way out of their current situation. At this moment, they believe there is no way out and their future looks bleak and hopeless.

All of us in the past have likely gone through some rough patches, when we believed there was no way out and nothing seemed to be working. The only thing that kept us going was the hope that things would somehow turn around, maybe a miracle or a saviour would appear.

Eventually, we found our way through the situation and learnt some hard lessons and grew from the experience, not taking anything for granted anymore.

If we could remind ourselves during the lows in our lives that this too will be over, that nothing stays the same forever, we could find some solace, trusting and believing that it was temporary and that better times were around the corner.

The simplest way and yet one of the hardest things to do, is to realize that even in the toughest of situations if we stay in the present moment, not thinking about the past or worrying about the future, we are safe in this current moment.

There are many things we have no control over, but we have control over our attitudes and our perceptions. No one can make us happy; it is up to us to decide how we look at things.

What we think about we bring about. Even in the toughest of days there is always something to be grateful for.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor E. Frankl

“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'” – Sydney J. Harris

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” – Oprah Winfrey

“If you do not change direction, you might end up where you are heading.” — Lao Tzu

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” – Robert Frost

I was feeling so logical

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh, it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees, well they’d be singing so happily
Oh, joyfully, oh, playfully watching me
But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh, responsible, practical
Then they showed me a world where I could be so dependable
Oh, clinical, oh, intellectual, cynical”
The Logical Song – Supertramp

When did you settle and accept that this was going to be your life? Did you have other dreams or, are you living and loving what you do for a living?

Did your loved ones tell you to be logical, responsible, practical or did they tell you to follow your dreams and do what you love and find a job that makes you happy?

In this competitive world where wealth equals success, you are not encouraged to follow your passions. As the years go by, and once you are stuck in a 9-5 job, it gets harder and harder to make a change.

You get caught up in the routine of life and years later you look back with regrets. You still need to pay your bills, so you keep working at a job you either like or dislike.

If you want to limit any regrets, you first need to understand what the biggest ones are and take steps before it is too late. It does not mean you have to give up on your job or move to an exotic location of your dreams, although you certainly could.

A little self-reflection and listening to that inner voice when you sit quietly without any distractions will guide you to move in the direction of what gives you joy.

If you can find your passion while you are young and pursue it, you won’t have to work a day in your life because you will be living your dream. It is never too late or a bad thing to make a big decision, especially if it is leading you to your passion or to what makes you happy.

What other regrets may you be able to fix before it is too late? Make a list of all the regrets you want to avoid or fix, before you find out that there is not enough time to do anything about those regrets.

Then make a list of things that bring you joy, big and small and keep adding to this bucket list and checking them off as you accomplish them. Don’t wait for someone else to make your dreams come true or to make you happy.

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” – Eckhart Tolle

“What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” – Bob Dylan

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

“I would rather die of passion than of boredom.” – Vincent van Gogh

I Can Buy Myself Flowers

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Started to cry, but then remembered
I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don’t understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can”
Flowers – Miley Cyrus

Life throws many curve balls throughout our life and some of these curves can break us or make us stronger.

You can have a wonderful, happy life and suddenly disease and death or some other cause can take your loved one away from you.

It is hard to not get attached to things and people but really what are you afraid of losing when nothing in the world actually belongs to you?

If we can accept that we come into this world alone and will leave alone, we can feel the grief, but not let it break us. This detachment then will make it a little easier to bear any loss.

We are born to love, to experience life, to feel the emotions and yet accept that everything will come to an end whether by choice or by fate. The only person we have control over is ourselves. We are stronger and capable of more than we think.

If we can stay in the present, stop ourselves from living in the past and stop worrying about the not guaranteed future, life will be a lot easier because all we really have is NOW.

If we stopped depending on someone else to make us complete, to save us, to fulfil us and instead remember that we can buy ourselves flowers, life will be a little easier to navigate. All you need to do is decide and, in an instant, you can change your life.

Let go of things you cannot control and free yourself from attachment to things and people, especially the things you love because nothing ever lasts forever, just the memories, sometimes even that can fade.

I believe our purpose in life is to be happy, do things we enjoy, make happy memories with our loved ones as long as we can, use whatever gifts we possess to help others, make a difference and live in the present.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but our thoughts and feelings about it.” – Eckhart Tolle

“When nobody wakes you up in the morning, when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want, what do you call it, Freedom or Loneliness?” – Charles Bukowski

“We are all one. Only egos, beliefs, and fears separate us.” – Nikola Tesla

“Your children will always be your whole world, but you’ll never be theirs in the same way”. – Anonymous

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.” – Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese-American poet

One Way Ticket to the Blues

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
One way ticket, one way ticket
One way ticket, one way ticket
One way ticket
One way ticket to the blues

Choo choo train
Truckin’ down the track
Gotta travel on it
Never comin’ back
Ooh got a one way ticket to the blues”
On Way Ticket – Neil Sedaka”

The journey of life has no return ticket, at least not in this lifetime.

Life only guarantees you a one-way ticket. If you don’t learn it early enough, you will eventually realize that there is no return ticket. Life will pass you by in a jiffy if you don’t pay attention.

Although we cannot do anything about the one-way ticket, we can control how we decide to live our life.

I have learnt that no one is responsible for my happiness. It is up to me to decide how I want to live and how I want to look at life.

They say what you think about, you bring about. Life is what you make of it. It is not what happens to you but how you react to life. Two people having the exact same experience can react differently.

Siblings living in the same household, with alcoholic parents can have the exact opposite reaction to alcohol. One could become an alcoholic like their parents and the other could decide they never want to touch alcohol because of what they saw and experienced.

Once you realize you are the one in control, it is up to you to make sure you are aware of your thoughts and mindful of the words you say to yourself and out loud.

Last week I took a couple of days off from work and took a 4-day Immersive course which ran over the weekend as well. It was the Silva Immersive Training. Jose Silva was a Mexican immigrant to the States who created the Silva Method.

To help his 10 children do better in school, he experimented and found techniques to help them excel in school. He was so successful that other kids came to learn from him and eventually adults as well. There are now over 12 million Silva graduates world-wide.

There is one technique I want to share with you. Every time you have a negative thought, or you hear or say something negative, immediately say “cancel cancel” and replace it with a positive thought.

Your mind is listening to every thing you think and say. It does not differentiate between reality and imagination. It takes things literally. When you say things like “pain in the neck”, guess what, your subconscious mind is listening and delivering it to you.

If you want a happier life, keep track of your thoughts. It is impossible to have two opposing thoughts so if you are having a bad day and are feeling down and you want to change it, you must make the conscious effort to change your thoughts.

Change your thoughts, change your life!

“We Don’t See Things As They Are, We See Them As We Are” – Anaïs Nin

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.” – Eckhart Tolle

“Happiness depends on your mindset and attitude.” – ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Happiness is a state of mind. You can be happy or you can be unhappy.” — Walt Disney

www.mindvasana.com

Here For A Good Time Not A Long Time

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“And the sun is shinin’ in this rainy city
And the sun is shinin’, ooh, isn’t it a pity
And every year has its share of tears
And every now and then it’s gotta rain

We’re here for a good time
Not a long time
So have a good time
The sun can’t shine every day”
We’re here for a good time (not a long time) – Trooper

Who is the happiest person you know?

If it isn’t you then it’s time to dig deep and start the new year with the intention of figuring out what needs to change this year for you to be happy.

Is it more money that will make you happy? Getting married? A family? Better relationship with your spouse/partner? A good job? Having a lot of friends? A promotion at work? Losing weight & getting fit?

Guess what, once you achieve all that you want, you will want something more to make you happy.

I have learnt that happiness is a choice. If you are not happy now you will always be chasing happiness. You already have more than you need. Everything is relative.

The home you live in which you think is too small is the dream home for someone who lives in a room with a bunch of other people and so on.

The happy ones are the ones who have learnt to first be grateful for what they already have and those that are doing things to help others. You can’t take anything with you when you die so share and care while you are here.

I realize that I have more years behind me than ahead of me, so I want to make a difference in this world and live a meaningful life while still enjoying life and doing things I love.

You are only here for a short time so do the things you love, be grateful for what you have and help when you can.

Happy New Year!

“Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got.” – Art Buchwald

“Be The Peace You Wish To See In The World!” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“I am not particularly interested in saving time; I prefer to enjoy it.” — Eduardo Galeano

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” — Mother Teresa

Could Have, Should Have, Would Have

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Well, I won’t back down
No I won’t back down
You could stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won’t back down
No I’ll stand my ground
Won’t be turned around
And I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down
Gonna stand my ground
And I won’t back down
I Won’t Back Down – Tom Petty

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

As we move forward to another year, what are you willing to let go as this year comes to an end? What load are you carrying that is holding you from moving forward?

It is only when you sit down and ponder that you realize all the baggage you are carrying forward year after year.

This December, let go of envy, let go of fear, let go of anger, let go of guilt, let go of hate, let go of expectations, let go of the could have, should have, would have, let go of everything that is dragging you down.

The last few weeks have been dragging me down watching all that is going on in the world. I stopped watching mainstream news altogether, but it is hard to shut your eyes to everything without feeling guilty and helpless to change anything.

As I live in my own little bubble, I plan to do what I can to stay positive, to be grateful for all the blessings in my life, to work on myself, help where I can and hope that in 2024 there will be a shift in the world and we can all live in peace. Wishful thinking maybe but if there’s no hope, there’s nothing.

For some of you that have been carrying other kinds of personal baggage, how many more years do you plan to carry that load? At any moment you can change your thoughts and beliefs and let go of the hold other people or memories have on you.

A new year is like a blank slate to start the year right, not that you have to wait till the new year but still symbolic for most people for a new beginning and a chance to start fresh.

Don’t look back, don’t back down and lighten your load as you move into a new year.

“You can only lose what you cling to.” — Buddha

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” — Herman Hesse

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” — Oprah Winfrey

“Never love something so much that you can’t let go of it.” — Ginni Rometty

“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” – Rumi

The Slow One Now Will Later Be Fast

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is rapidly fadin’
And the first one now
Will later be last”
For the times they are a-changin'”
The Times They Are A-Changin – Bob Dylan

Sometimes it takes a long time to change, and other times change can happen in an instant. One thing I know for sure, change is the only constant in life. Nothing ever lasts forever.

Sometimes you change over time, and you don’t even notice, then one day you look back and realize you are a different person.

I remember there was a time when I was afraid of the number 17. Every 17th of the month, I would dread it as I thought it was unlucky for me.

When my daughter was born, I decided I did not want to instill the same fears in her, so in an instant I made 17 my lucky number.

Everything changed after that, and I started attracting things that were good on that date. Nothing had changed except my perception.

Sometimes though, you have no control over things, especially if you are dealt a rotten hand in life and you feel hopeless and helpless.

In those times all you can do is hang on to hope that things will turn around for you and that there are people who care and will do everything in their power to support you. Hope springs eternal knowing change is inevitable.

“The slow one now will later be fast and the first one now, will later be last.”

“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.”— Angela Davis

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”— Mother Teresa

“There is nothing permanent except change.”— Heraclitus

Goodbye doesn’t mean forever

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Goodbye doesn’t mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn’t mean
We’ll never be together again
If you wake up and I’m not there, I won’t
Be long away
‘Cause the things you do my Goodbye Girl
Will bring me back to you”
Goodbye Girl – David A. Gates

The hardest part of “hellos” in some ways, is knowing you probably will have to say goodbye someday. 

Some people come into your life for a few moments, some for a season, some for decades and some remain in your heart forever.

There are some people you wish you had never met but in the end you realize that they came into your life because there were lessons you had to learn from them.

Life happens and people change. You lose touch with people that are close to you, sometimes by choice and sometimes not. 

There are times when people move away to another city or country. Sometimes it’s a job that takes someone away or a divorce or death. Many times there is nothing we can do to change or stop it.

Other times it’s a misunderstanding or something petty that could have been avoided. All those beautiful shared memories are forgotten in an instant.

There are people you may meet when on vacation or at an event and you instantly feel a connection but you may never see them again.

The people that you feel closest to are people that you have shared good times, hard times and many times the ones you share your blood with, your close family. 

For many of us, there are special bonds with our children, our siblings and parents that are in our DNA and we can’t help but care about them and feel sad when it’s time to say goodbye when we live in different parts of the world. 

I think the hardest goodbye is letting go of your children. You want them to go fly on their own and be happy living their life but at the same time there’s a piece of you that seems to be missing when they are not with you.

The best way, I have found, is to live in the present, putting your focus in the moment. Worrying only happens when you’re thinking of the past or the future, the two things you cannot do anything about.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the “good” in “goodbyes” but I guess, if it’s hard to say goodbye then it was worth it. It means that we have something special that causes us to feel sad. 

So goodbye doesn’t mean forever, we’ll meet again in our memories or when we see each other again.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh

“Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.” — Disney

“Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.” — Trey Parker

“The easiest way to find out how you feel about someone. Say goodbye.” — Phil Knight

“You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.” — Frederick Buechner

“Goodbyes are not forever, goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you until we meet again.” — Unknown

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you.” — A. A. Milne

Me looking at you, you looking at me

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Just as I thought it was goin’ alright
I found out I’m wrong, when I thought I was right
It’s always the same, it’s just a shame, that’s all
I could say day, and you’d say night
Tell me it’s black, when I know that it’s white
Always the same, it’s just a shame and that’s all”
That’s All – Genesis

It’s always the same, it’s a shame… when our egos get in the way. You think you are right and so do I.

Relationships are fragile. You could be friends with someone, and one day they do something or say something, and you cut them out of your life in an instant. All the good times and memories are washed away just so that you can be right.

You get on your high horse refusing to understand or see why they may have said or done what they did at that time. Most of us only see things from our own perspective, finding it almost impossible to understand the other person’s perspective.

It could be that they were wrong, but they were young and still learning, exploring, growing and may not even think the same way they did when they were younger.

Or they may be an introvert and if you are an extrovert expecting them to behave in a certain way it may seem like they did not care but really, they were just being their reserved self.

As years go by and you become a little wiser you realize the reasons were so trivial but our ego get in the way and we refuse to bridge the gap and instead keep riding the high horse.

I know for myself, when I look back, there are many times that I would have done things differently knowing what I know now. We are all works in progress and all trying to do our best. So, let’s forgive and forget the small things that won’t matter in the long run. Life is too short.

If we want to live a life that attracts more positive things, then we need to let go of that ego and send out positive vibes in everything and in every relationship that we engage in.

All you need is love, let all the rest rest in peace.

“When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” — Abraham Joshua Heschel

“To err on the side of kindness is seldom an error.” — Liz Armbruster

“Kindness begins with the understanding that we all struggle.” — Charles Glassman

“To be kind is more important than to be right.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls, families, and nations.” — Paramahansa Yogananda

Just an Average Joe in this Modern World

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Tell me somethin’, girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?

I’m falling
In all the good times I find myself longin’ for change
And, in the bad times, I fear myself”
Shallow – Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper (from “A Star Is Born” soundtrack)

If you are an average Joe, does that mean you are not successful even if you are happy with your life? In this hustle culture world, everybody seems to be chasing fame and success.

How do you define success? When are you finally truly satisfied? Is wanting more and more and never being satisfied being successful? How much is enough?

What if someone is happy being mediocre or average? What if they are doing what they love and are doing it for the love of doing it? Would they be considered not successful?

Instead of trying to be “special”, you can be your ordinary average, happy self. In the end, what do you truly need? If you are in a career that you are passionate about, doing what you love, you’re one of the lucky ones.

You come into this world with nothing, and you will leave with nothing so, in between life and death ensure that you are living a life that is fulfilling because that is all that you get.

I had a realization when I was travelling recently with only a carry-on suitcase that if I were to lose every material possession I left behind at home, I would be okay. All that I needed I had on me, my passport, my phone and a few essentials. The realization was liberating.

To me what is important now, is my health, my family, my friends, being able to travel, taking courses I enjoy, being grateful and satisfied with what I have, waking up joyful most days and doing what I want to do and having the freedom to do so, along with peace of mind. Anything more than that is extra for me.

How about you? Are you living the life you want or just going through the motions? Living the life you want begins with having the right mindset and taking the first step.

“The greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never want where the mind is satisfied.” – Lucretius

“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” – ― G.K. Chesterton

“He who is not satisfied with a little is satisfied with nothing.” – ― Epicurus

I Chose Not to Accept the Guilt Bestowed 

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“I stretched back and I hiccuped
And looked back on my busy day
Eleven hours in the Tin Pan
God, there’s got to be another way

Well, who are you?
(who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Oh, who are you?
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Come on tell me who are you?”
Who are you – The Who

Who are you?

Most of us show a different version of ourselves depending on who we are with. How many faces do you have? Are you the same person at work and at home and with your friends?

So, who are you really? If you stop for a bit and peel back the many layers that you have draped over the years and figure out which version of you is the real you, that is when you begin to live a life of your own design.

What are you doing when you are in that zone? Who are you with? Behind the smoke and mirrors is the true you, the authentic you and therefore the happiest you. All you need to do then is, be yourself and see your life unfold in flow but many of us live in guilt.

I think I have come a long way and now I don’t feel guilty for the choices I make as much. I mostly do what I want to do and talk myself out of feeling guilty when people expect me to be a certain way or to do certain things.

I am learning to let go and have learnt that I am not responsible for how other people feel. I need to honour what my heart desires and not do things because of guilt. I believe that guilt, shame, stress, fear all release hormones that can lead to serious health issues.

No one can “make” you feel guilty, you have a choice whether to accept the guilt when someone tries to bestow it upon you or, honour that you may want to do something different.

You have a right to your feelings just as much as the other person has a right to theirs. We are all so different so all we can do is accept that we are looking at others through our own perspective. What you like, I may not like but that does not make you righter.

If we stop giving unsolicited advice and stop judging others, if we accept that we are all different, we would all be happier. Stop waiting for someone to do what you want, or stop being chained by guilt in any decision that you make.

Life is too short…so be who you are and do what makes you happy and let other people be happy doing what makes them happy. Live and let live.

“The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.” – Ayn Rand

“I have no guilt. Whatever I do, I enjoy and it’s the point. I think if you start to feel guilty about it, that’s a problem. So, no guilty pleasures. I have pleasure and no guilt at all.” – Eric Ripert

The Perks of Living Your Life

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“You’re simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I’ve ever met
Ooh, you’re the best”
The Best – Tina Turner

The lyrics don’t really have anything to do with my blog this month, it’s to honour and acknowledge Tina Turner and the legacy she left behind.

This month my blog is about realizing that the perks of living your life at any age is a perk in itself.

The perk of getting to live longer is that, as you get older, you care less about what other people think of you and you begin to live life the way YOU want to live.

You like me, when you were younger or even a few years back, probably, did or did not do things or at least did not post or talk about them because you thought people would judge you.

What freedom it brings to do what your heart desires, post as many pictures as you want, go to concerts, go dancing, dress the way you want and, not care what people think is appropriate for you to do at your age!

I love to dance, I love music, I love concerts, I love to travel, I love books, I love to write, I love watching movies, I love conferences and retreats that have to do with personal growth, I love taking courses and learning, I love spending time with friends and family. I am a foodie, I love walking on the beach, I love cruises, I love hypnosis and meditation and I love people.

I love all the older bands and singers like Dire Straits, Rod Stewart, Pink Floyd, Uriah Heep, Foreigner, Eagles and many others but I also love music from the 80’s 90’s and 2000’s. I love Arcade Fire, Cold Play, Ed Sheeran, Imagine Dragons, Enrique Iglesias and too many others to list.

I believe there comes a time when you realize that, in order to live a life of your own design that is easy for you, all you need to do is be yourself. Live and let live is my motto.

Life is too short to care about what anyone else thinks because they are probably not thinking of you, they are busy thinking of what others are thinking of them.

A certain percentage of people in your life will find fault with anything you do; a larger percentage could not care less about what you do and then there are the ones that love and care about you and just want you to do what makes you happy. Those are your tribe and the ones that matter.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind, as one wise person once said.

Life is short and as we get older it gets shorter! Live life to the fullest, do things you enjoy so that you have no regrets.

“It’s not about being happy all the time or being sure of all your choices. It’s about knowing that life is precious, even when it’s tough.” – Topher Kearby

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” – Dale Carnegie

“If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.” – Mother Teresa

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” – John Lennon

If You Could Read My Mind

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“If you could read my mind, love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
‘Bout a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as I am a ghost, you can’t see”
If You Could Read My Mind – Gordon Lightfoot

If you could read my mind, you would see that we have a lot in common. You, like me, undoubtedly have made many mistakes and learnt valuable lessons along your journey in life.

Some of us make the same mistake more than once until we learn the lesson we were meant to learn. We all have had regrets, have failed, have judged others, acted on impulse, been hurt or hurt others, have been jealous and envious. We have let Ego get in the way of relationships, tried to control situations and a whole lot more.

Even those that seem so evolved have moments of fear, insecurity and negative reactions. The only difference is that they recognize their shortcomings and can change their mindset and behaviour quickly so as not to go too far down that path of negativity.

What I know for sure is that we only have this moment. There is nothing you can do to change the past but what you do Now is what will create your future. What you think, feel, say and do will attract what you get. You can decide at any moment to change your future by changing your Now.

I also know that you cannot make a person understand a message they are not ready to receive. I am sure if as a 15- or 20-year-old, someone had told me the exact steps to take to move in the direction of living a happy and peaceful life, I would not have heard or made an effort to understand and act on the message.

There are 60 and 70 years old who still have not understood the message, but it is there for everyone who wants to learn. For me, the number one thing that has made a difference is writing every night things that I am grateful for in my life.

By writing what I am grateful for every day, I get even more things to be thankful for in my life. If you only do this one thing to begin with, you will see your mind shift and every area in your life will change for the better.

There are a few other things that I do daily that have helped me start my day right. I meditate or listen to guided meditations first thing in the morning.

When you are in that half-awake state just as you are about to fall asleep or when you are waking up it is a hypnotic state where your subconscious mind can absorb and make profound changes.

The other thing that I do is journal, where I can dump all that I am feeling or thinking and let go of things that are bothering me. Some other things that have helped me are, working out during the week, listening to inspiring podcasts and audiobooks and reading.

Life is a journey and there will be many challenges and lessons to learn along the way. I have found the best way to respond to whatever may come is to prepare myself by grounding myself through my morning routine.

Meditation does not have to be sitting in a quiet place trying to get rid of your thoughts. Meditation can be walking in nature, noticing the flowers, the trees, the birds, the sky or gardening or cooking. Doing what you love, when you are in the zone that is a form of meditation.

What morning routines do you have?

“Happiness depends on your mindset and attitude.” ― Roy T. Bennett

“Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else.” ― George Orwell

“It’s all in the mind.” ― George Harrison

“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes”. – Mahatma Gandhi

“Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind”. – William James

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves”. – Gautama Buddha