Why oh why do you beat yourself up

Hey, don’t write yourself off yet.
It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can
And don’t you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
Jimmy Eat World Lyrics – “The Middle”

When you do or say something that you wish you hadn’t, do you ever play it out over and over in your head?

How often do you call yourself names and relive what happened, play by play? How could I be such an idiot! I’m so stupid, I should have kept my mouth shut etc. etc.

You’re not alone, three friends in the last week, admitted to me that they beat themselves up every time they think they’ve made a mistake and, they relive the incident over and over again in their mind.

We’ve all done that to some extent and, until someone brings it to our attention, we continue to do so.

This gets you in a negative state and everything seems to go wrong around you. Your negative thoughts bring about other negative situations.

So, how can you change that? Here are some thoughts to consider the next time you begin to beat yourself up.

  1. Ask yourself, if a friend made the same mistake, what would I say to him/her?
  2. What’s the worst that could happen now that the mistake is made?
  3. Tell yourself, no one is perfect, not even the person you think is perfect!
  4. Everyone makes mistakes, how can you learn from it?
  5. Will this matter 5 years from now?
  6. How many people really care or are thinking about this mistake that you made? People have their own issues and are thinking about their own problems!
  7. Keep a journal and write down positive things that people have said about you and keep adding to it all the time.
  8. Write down positive things you did or said that made you happy.
  9. Every time you have a negative thought, feel it and then replace it with a positive thought.
  10. Start using positive words when you speak and write.
  11. Subscribe to tut.com and you’ll get a positive “Notes from the Universe” message – Mike Dooley (TUT – thoughts become things)
  12. Ask yourself Tony Robbin’s Jedi mind trick question – “What’s great about this situation you’re not seeing right now?”
  13. Remember, when you change your thoughts and beliefs, you change your life.

As Vishen Lakhiani says, question the “brules” (bullshit rules) that you were taught when you were growing up. You can change your views about anything, anytime!

Change the way you think and start your journey to becoming the real you, to live a happy life. You cannot change the past but you can focus on the present, to have a happier future.

“I just want you to know that you’re very special… and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has.”
― Stephen Chbosky,  The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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