No, You Can’t Always Get What You Want

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

No, you can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
You Can’t Always Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones

This Rolling Stones song was playing on the radio the other day and the lyrics made me think. We’ve all heard podcasts, read books, watched videos, movies or maybe attended personal growth seminars telling us we can get anything we want if we dream big enough or if we visualize the right way.

What happens when our dream don’t come true? We get discouraged. I think the one thing they forget to mention or we choose not to hear, is that sometimes you may not get what you want but you may end up getting what you need.

If you look back on your life and think of a time when you thought you couldn’t survive without the love of your life or something else. As time passed, you got through it, you met someone else who was even more perfect or, you landed somewhere living a life even bigger than the one you dreamed.

Life has a funny way of giving us just what we need to learn and grow. It’s fine to have goals and dreams and to work on them but we must be willing to be flexible and go with the flow when needed.

These are some of the things I’ve learnt in my life:

I’ve learnt that to live a happy life you first have to be grateful right now. If you’re not happy and grateful now, there’s no guarantee you’ll be happy when you achieve your goal. There will always be something bigger to chase.

You must have a positive mindset. It’s normal to have negative thoughts but if you want to start thinking positively; you must replace the negative thought with a positive one each time. When you make a conscious effort to do so, you’ll begin to attract positive things into your life. Your thoughts and beliefs also have a direct outcome on your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.

It is better to be kind than to be right. Everyone lives their life from their point of view. If you look at the other person with love and compassion instead of judging them because you don’t agree with their views, there are at least two positive outcomes. Your mind is operating in a positive mindset way so you attract more of the positive vibes into your life. What you give is what you get in the end. This doesn’t mean you agree with them but you listen and seek to understand their point of view.

I have also learnt that what is meant to be will be and that everything happens for a reason. So be grateful, think positive thoughts, be kind and be happy.

If you’re struggling in your life, please find yourself a reputable hypnotist or life coach to help you escalate your journey to living your best life now.

For more information, check out my earlier blogs at www.mindvasana.com

“I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different from yours”.– The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi

“Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright.” – Bob Marley

“One secret of life is that the reason life works at all is that not everyone in your tribe is nuts on the same day.” – Anne Lamott

“Can miles truly separate you from friends… If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?” – ― Richard Bach

And we all make our choices like a blind man feels his way

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

As they wandered
Around so confused
Some day
They’ll make their decision
But which one will they choose
And we all make our choices
Like a blind man feels his way,
And the choice I’ve made is simple:
Passion over pain.
Choices – Uriah Heep

Are you living your life on autopilot? Are you going through the motions, day-by-day waiting for a wake-up call? Do you need a drastic event so that you can stop and think about what you really want and start living? Are you living a “good enough” life or are you living a life with no regrets?

Living your best life doesn’t necessarily mean having a lot of money or fame. Success is whatever makes you happy and fulfilled. Many of us live life on autopilot life until we experience or are moved by something that happens to someone we love and then we “wake-up” and realize life is too short to be living like this.

If you are wondering why you cannot make a change or why you struggle, studies have shown that there are many characteristics that are imprinted in us from the time, even before we were born to age seven and that 95% of our decisions are made from a subconscious or unconscious mind that was formed then.

Things that come easily to you, where you don’t have to put in much effort, are a result of the programming you received when you were young. If you had loving, supporting caregivers and teachers who encouraged you and were positive role models, your subconscious was programmed to believe that the world was generally a good place and you looked and operated on that level and things came easily to you without much effort.

If a parent abandoned you when you were young, then you probably developed unconscious beliefs that people who love you would eventually leave you. Everything in your environment during that period had an effect on your beliefs which became part of your subconscious mind. The television that you watched, the people you were around and everything else you experienced during that period. These beliefs that were formed when you were young are usually the reasons you are not living your best life.

There was a time that I worried about everything. If there was anything that I wanted to do, I made sure not to get my hopes up. I wanted to be prepared if something were to go wrong so that I would not be disappointed. I unconsciously played all the negative scenarios without even realizing I was doing that. Without even knowing it and living life in fear, judging myself critically, worrying about what everyone thought, my beliefs were quite negative. I therefore attracted people and situations into my life that had even more of a negative impact on my life.

It was only many years later when I dove deeply into learning more about the power of the mind and our belief systems and on how to live my best life that I slowly changed. It led me to do a lot of reading on this topic and other related topics on the power of changing subconscious beliefs that were holding me back from living my best life. I took many training course which included hypnosis and getting certified as a Certified Hypnotist.

Have you ever told yourself, “I am so unlucky”, “I never win anything”? I did that in the past too. I was superstitious and told myself the numbers 13 and 17 were unlucky. I avoided doing things on those dates each month. Imagine living all your life in fear of those numbers.

When my daughter was born, I realized I didn’t want her to grow up living like that so I told her that those numbers were lucky for our family and any other negative superstitions had a positive effect on our family. Gradually, I started focussing on the positive and as I read and studied more about the power of the mind, I realized that it was not anyone but me who was responsible for my happiness. It was up to me to choose what I wanted and how I wanted to live so I slowly began fixing my unconscious negative beliefs.

These are the things I do regularly now which have moved me into a positive mindset:

  1. I keep a gratitude journal and write the things I am grateful for, usually 3-5 each day and throughout the day I try to bring back my focus to things I see or things that happen and, in my mind give thanks for them, whether it’s a beautiful bird that flies past or a white feather I come across or if someone does something nice. When you are grateful, you get even more things to be grateful for.
  2. I listen to a short guided meditation to start the day or imagine a golden healing light going through all the cells of my body from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, healing me physically, mentally, emotionally.
  3. I read books that are inspiring, I listen to motivational talks, and attend talks and training programs to improve myself and grow constantly.
  4. When negative thoughts cross my mind, I constantly question them and change them to positive ones. Instead of expecting the worst, I expect the best.

Since I changed my way of thinking, expecting things to go well, things somehow do go well and if sometimes they don’t, I try worry about it only then. I feel so lucky and grateful for all the happiness in my life ever since I changed the way I think.

Do you find yourself judging others? If a friend posts something on social media where they seem to be having a good time, do you feel happy to see them happy or does your mind become critical? Does it make you envious or jealous? Next time, catch yourself and ask yourself which unconscious belief is making you react this way? When you learn to accept and love people for who they are, you are in turn learning to love and accept yourself for who you truly are.

Life is too short so enjoy every moment. Live your best life now because that is all you have.

Please check out my website www.mindvasana.com for other blogs.

“Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you” – Richard Bach

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself” – Madonna

“My philosophy is worrying means you suffer twice” – J.K. Rowling

”If you change nothing, nothing will change” – anonymous

When you come to a fork in the road, take it

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) – Green Day

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? Do you take the path less travelled or the one already set for you and follow along?

When you have a major life decision to make or even a little one, do you weigh all the pros and cons or do you let your heart and instinct guide you?

Some people seem to know exactly what they want and go for it, while there are others that cannot decide which road to take and find they are too late for whatever it was that could have been on the other side.

It could be a house you were looking to buy and you really wanted it but waited a day too long to decide and by the time you were ready to say yes, it was gone, sold to someone who also really wanted the same house. They followed their heart and said yes, took action immediately and put in an offer and the house became their home.

There could have been a time when you decided to go on a vacation and you were looking for deals and you came across a deal so good but you waited a day too long, thinking you could get a better deal and instead, the price kept going up and you missed out on the deal. Has that ever happened to you?

How many times have you lost out on opportunities because you stopped at the fork? You weren’t sure which way to go or which route was better, so you didn’t take the turn when you came to the fork and stood where you were.

Many people play it safe and they get stuck in a job that doesn’t bring them joy anymore but there’s a sense of security. Months turn into years and before long they’ve been at the job for a decade or more.

Life is too short and everything could change in an instant in your life. The more time you spend doing things that don’t give you joy, is time wasted, which you could have spent doing things that you enjoy.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it – Yogi Berra

He who takes no chances wins nothing – Danish Proverb

Take a chance. You never know how perfect something might turn out to be – unknown

Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare – Dale Carnegie

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself – Sren Kierkegaard

Never regret taking a chance, even if you fall on your face; It’s better to know you tried and failed than to wonder the great “what if?”. – Devin Frye

www.mindvasana.com

Illusion of Control: Isn’t it Ironic

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
A traffic jam when you’re already late
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife…”
Alanis Morissette

Life does have a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think you have everything under control.

If you are one of those people that need to feel in control of your life and everything you do, what happens when things don’t go the way you planned?

You have an important meeting and you give yourself enough time to make it there on time. You get into your car and run into a traffic jam or the subway trains have stopped running because of an incident on the tracks.

You honk or cuss but you’re stuck, there’s nothing you can do, so you get yourself worked up and your blood pressure goes through the roof. You get to the important meeting only to find out it was the wrong day and now you’re mad at yourself.

There are many things you have no control over, like the weather, traffic, getting old, death, what people think of you, your past, pleasing everyone or a future the way you planned it.

The only thing you have control over is your attitude and how you react to a situation when things don’t go the way you think it should. You cannot control a lot of things including what other people think, say, feel or do. You can only control you.

If you are someone who needs to plan everything and expect it to go exactly the way you planned it, then you’re probably also the type of person who stresses and freaks out when things don’t go as planned.

To minimize the damage, you could try and figure out all the things that could go wrong and try and prevent them from happening and think of alternatives but there will always be some things that you cannot foresee.

It is good to remember that for anything that goes wrong or does not go the way you expected, there could be an even better unexpected outcome. You may not see it in the moment but in the grand scheme of life, this will be a minor incident.

When you look back at your life and think of a time when you thought you were going through the worst experience of your life; that you couldn’t possible take it anymore. What were some of the positive outcomes that came out of it in the end?

Perhaps, you didn’t get into a school of your choice or didn’t get that promotion, maybe you were let go from a job or your relationship didn’t work out, only to look back and realize that it was probably the best thing that happened to you because something unexpected and better came along.

For me, there was a time when I was in a terrible abusive marriage and wanted to give up on life because I was young and naïve and did not think there was anything I could do. I felt helpless and ashamed and did not feel like I could tell my family or friends so I stayed in the marriage for a few years until one day I finally decided anything was better than this and left.

That was the best decision and after a lot of other life experiences, I met my current husband, Louie, who always puts me first, above all and even though there are many things which we think so differently about, he loves and accepts me as I am and is always looking out for me. He is my biggest supporter, the one who is always there for me. We’ve been together for over 30 years, supporting each other.

When I look back now, I could never have imagined the life I have now, being free, loved, at peace and happy. My advice to anyone who is going through anything terrible is to remember that nothing lasts forever. There is always someone who can help you, trust a friend, tell someone what you are going through and know that you will get through this and come out stronger.

Life is too short to focus on the negative, hanging on to anger, regrets and pain. It is best to do what you can, do your best, prepare where you can and then let go of the outcome.

I have heard it said that if you hold on to your anger for more than 2-3 minutes, it can have a negative effect on your health, not to mention relationships that break because things were said in the heat of the moment which sometimes cannot be mended.

The faster you can change your focus from anger, fear or helplessness to a positive one, the better you will feel. Once you have done all you can to prepare, let go and go-with-the-flow. Detach yourself from the outcome and trust that the universe will ensure that whatever happens, it will be for the best.

Here are a few simple things you can do when things aren’t going the way you want it to:

  1. Take some deep breaths when you feel anxiety coming on
  2. Ask yourself whether this will matter a few years from now
  3. Express your feelings to someone you trust
  4. Write how you feel in a journal and options how to get through it
  5. Don’t beat yourself up, acknowledge your feelings and see what you can do to make the situation better
  6. Remind yourself that this is temporary, nothing lasts forever
  7. Look back at times in your life when you came through fine after a hard time
  8. Ask yourself what could be the positive outcome of this negative situation
  9. Listen to motivating podcasts or music that makes you feel better
  10. Meditate, there are lots of free meditation recordings on Youtube and free apps
  11. Go for a walk in nature, get some fresh air
  12. Workout, do yoga or dance
  13. Remember that everyone goes through good times and bad times and what matters is how you react to the situation
  14. Be grateful for lessons learnt
  15. Get a life coach to help you live your best life

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don’t have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it. Chris Pine

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. Brian Tracy

It’s not the situation, but whether we react negative or respond positive to the situation that is important. Zig Ziglar

Wizard of a Thousand Lives

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

Why don’t we listen to the voices in our hearts
‘Cause then I know we’d find we’re not so far apart
Everybody’s got to be happy
Everyone should sing
For we know the joy of life
The peace that love can bring
The Wizard – Uriah Heep

Have you ever wondered, should I stay or should I go, whether it’s a job or a relationship or a total life change like moving to another country and starting anew? So many times in your life, you may have made that choice or that choice may have been made for you by someone else.

Perhaps you thought you were going to work with the same company until you retired but you were let go or, you thought, the marriage or relationship was going to last forever but it didn’t work out and you parted ways.

There are people that give their best years to an organization, planning to travel and live their best life when they retire, only to find that they no longer have the strength or the courage to do so.

There are some that stay in an unhappy marriage for their children or for the financial stability. The children grow up and go on to live their lives and the person is still stuck in that unhappy marriage, living a life of regrets.

Life goes by so fast and at every point in your life, you have thousands of choices, or at least two. You can continue living the way you are living, for the rest of your life or you can decide to make a change and begin living your best life now.

Once the decision is made that you want to live life on your own terms, the smart thing to do would be to plan and work toward that goal. Start learning as much as you can about the career that you want to change to, take courses, check online courses, get a life coach, volunteer and network with people in that field. Soon, you’ll find that you’re ready to make that change and you’ll be open to opportunities.

Do something that you’re passionate about so that it doesn’t feel like work. Look at the number of years you have in front of you and decide whether you want to play it safe or take a chance, doing something you enjoy.

In the end, all the material things will not matter. It will be your health, your relationships and the feeling that you get of having lived life on your own terms.

When it all ends, six feet is all that you need. You cannot take your big house, your cars or your expensive clothes with you. Your kids don’t care about the house that you have to work for to pay off, for years and years. They would rather have you present and happy in a small place, spending time with them and creating memories.

In the end, all that matters is that you are happy doing what you enjoy and living your best life on your own terms.

Please check out my website www.mindvasana.com for other blogs.

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” – Aristotle

“We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.” – Anne Frank

“There are two ways of being happy: We must either diminish our wants or augment our means – either may do – the result is the same and it is for each man to decide for himself and to do that which happens to be easier.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer

“No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.” – Barbara DeAngelis

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” – Jim Rohn

Good thing, bad thing, who knows

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Every inch of sky’s got a star
Every inch of skin’s got a scar
I guess that you’ve got everything now
Every inch of space in your head
Is filled up with the things that you read
I guess you’ve got everything now
And every film that you’ve ever seen
Fills the spaces up in your dreams
That reminds me
(Everything now
Everything now)”
Everything Now – Arcade Fire

We have access to everything now and yet there are days when you find it so hard to appreciate what you have. I consider myself a positive person and usually see the bright side of things but yesterday was rough.

I rarely ever feel so down but yesterday was one of those days. I was feeling sick, sneezing and coughing and so I took a day off from work. All I could think was, is this all there is to life? Same thing every day, the never ending winter, I need some sun and warm ocean air. I honestly did try talking myself out of the negative thoughts but it just wasn’t working for me yesterday.

Finally in the afternoon, I couldn’t take it anymore so I put on earphones, some loud Latin dance music and, that changed everything. You can’t help moving to the beat! In a little while, I began to feel a lot better.

It’s so easy to spiral down in misery when you go down that path. You have to find a way to get out of it in whatever way works for you. For some, it may be by working out, yoga, dancing, talking to friends, listening to motivational speakers or even watching some funny shows or movies.

The thing I know for sure is that the more you focus on the negative, the more you seem to attract it. I really needed to come out of that negative state so I told myself what I tell others…that all negative situations, experiences always seem to have a flipside. It could be a lesson learnt or a better opportunity or something that needs to change.

I am actually one of the lucky ones who has (knock on wood) a wonderful life that I am truly grateful for. I have a wonderful husband and daughter, great relationships, good health, a good job, roof over my head and the resources to go on vacations a couple of times a year and, opportunities to learn and grow. What more can I ask for?

When I was younger and didn’t know better, I felt that I didn’t have any control and played the victim. When I finally learnt that by changing my thoughts and my beliefs I could change my life, I began attracting all good things without much effort. The more grateful I was for things I already had, the more I got of those things!

Life is unpredictable and you never really know… good thing? bad thing? who knows?

Find your way to get back quickly to that happy positive state by changing your thoughts and beliefs. It is normal to feel sad and other emotions but it is not healthy to stay to long in that state.

For ways to get to a positive state, please check out some of my older blogs and feel free to share with others that need to hear the message.

For the story behind “Good thing, bad thing, who knows”, you can find it on the internet.

“Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright.” – Bob Marley

“Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us” – anonymous
“We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.” Khalil Gibran

“Life reflects back your own thoughts back to you” – Napolean Hill

www.mindvasana.com

Looking for a place to hide my fear…

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Ever since I was a kid in school
I messed around with all the rules
Apologized, then realized
I’m not different after all…
…I was only joking my dear
Looking for a way to hide my fear”
I was only Joking – Rod Stewart

Have you ever carried around guilt and shame for weeks and months and years only to realize that you wasted your life in fear, worrying that other people were judging you when they weren’t even thinking about you? They were playing their own guilt and shame tapes in their heads.

Look back at your life and think about all the missed opportunities which were spent worrying about something that was only in your head. People have their own worries and shame, so stop assuming that their world revolves around you.

When you were young and made mistakes, you weren’t the only one. Everyone has regrets or there are things they would have done differently if they knew then what they know now. You did what you did because perhaps you were trying to fit in, or were looking for love and acceptance, trying to please others and not thinking about consequences.

Maybe your parents were fighting their own demons and didn’t know how to show you love. Maybe they didn’t give you hugs and kisses or tell you they loved you because they never experienced it themselves and didn’t know how to demonstrate it to you. So you looked for love in all the wrong places.

As you grow older you realize that you cannot change your past but you can change your present so that your future is what you want it to be.

Here are some tips that I learnt, to let go of the past, the guilt the shame and regrets:

We all make mistakes: there is not a single person on this earth who hasn’t made a mistake or two. If you are human, you’ve made mistakes in your life. You are not the only one.

We learn from our mistakes: Sometimes we make the same mistake twice or maybe even a few more times before we learn from our mistakes. You will notice that the same lesson keeps appearing in your life until you’ve learnt the lesson.

What would you tell a friend who confides in you about their guilt or shame: I know I would tell them that they did what they did because they didn’t know any better then and that I understand and love them. If they truly care about you, they will not hold it against you or bring it up but love you even more because you trusted them.

Write it down: Write a letter to the person who you wronged or wronged you. If that’s not something you want to do, write it in your journal, ask for forgiveness and then let it go.

Stop judging yourself: when you think everyone is judging you or looking at you, it’s actually because you’re judging yourself. Accept yourself and your mistakes and strive to do better. You have the power to decide any moment to let go of the guilt or shame and forgive yourself.

See the positive in the negative: there’s always two ways of looking at things. It could be the lesson that you learnt from your mistake, teaching your kids so that they don’t make the same mistake, becoming a better person as you learn to love and forgive yourself.

Close your eyes: relax and go back to your childhood or that incident and tell your younger self that they no longer need to feel shame or guilt. You understand and know why they did what they did and you forgive them.

Another way to make peace with your guilt or shame is through a hypnosis session with a reputable hypnotist who can help you let go of the past so that you can live your best life.

If you have other tips, please share it in the comments section so that you can help others.

“The past has no power over the present moment.” ―Eckhart Tolle

“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”—Oscar Wilde

“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” —Deepak Chopra

“To heal, we must first forgive… and sometimes the person we must forgive is ourselves.” – Mila Bron

www.mindvasana.com

Leaves don’t drop they just let go

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“Cause leaves don’t drop they just let go
And make a space for seeds to grow
And every season brings a change
A tree is what a seed contains
To die and live is life’s refrain”
Leaves Don’t Drop (They Just Let Go) – Carrie Newcomer

This is the time of year to start thinking of new beginnings, a chance to wipe the slate clean.

As you get ready for the New Year, it’s a time to let go of things that are holding you back from living your best life and a time to start fresh.

What are you holding on to that you can let go of now? Are you ready to let go of fear? Fear of change, uncertainty, a job or career you’re stuck in, a relationship? Is there resentment, jealousy, hurt, that you are ready to let go of?

What kind beliefs are you ready to let go of? Are you ready to let go of thoughts and beliefs that were installed by parents, teachers, friends or siblings when you were little, things like, you’re not smart enough, good enough, lucky enough or that you’re dumb, stupid, ugly or that life is tough?

Make a list of all the things you’re ready to let go of and as you scratch each one, write down what you are ready to do, what changes you are ready to make in the New Year or even right now. What new beliefs are you going to install to replace those old limiting beliefs that are holding you back from living your best life? Life is too short to waste doing things that don’t bring you joy, peace of mind happiness. 

As you make a conscious effort to let go and begin writing down what you really want, all the changes you want to make, your unconscious/ subconscious mind will start creating new neural pathways to find resources to get you there.

As you focus on living a positive, happy life, you’ll begin to notice all the things you already have to be grateful for and you’ll attract even more things to be grateful for. Whatever you choose to focus on is what you will bring to your life.

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” – J. K. Rowling

Remember it’s impossible to have a positive life with a negative mind. So every time you have a negative thought, acknowledge it and then replace it with a positive one. As you consciously try to do that, after a while you’ll automatically begin to think positive thoughts.

The past is gone, the future isn’t guaranteed, so all you have is now. By living in the present, being you, and letting go of any ego, jealousy, hatred, fear and everything else that you know is holding you back, you can begin the year with a clean slate. It’s never too late to start and you’ll never again be as young as you are now.

www.mindvasana.com

“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” – Deepak Chopra

“You can only lose what you cling to.” – Buddha

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” – Ann Lander

“Your past does not equal your future.” – Anthony Robbins


I wish I knew you when I was young

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“You bury that seed
It’s everything beautiful
And that sound comes from the underground
It’s all inside you now
It’s everything beautiful
But what are you running from?”
I wish I knew you – The Revivalists

Don’t you sometimes wish you knew you when you were younger? Knew your younger self now, so you could tell them that everything’s going to turn out just the way it’s supposed to, in the end?

Every thought you had then, every action, experience and emotion you experienced, the meaning you gave it, has brought you to now, your present situation.

It is common and normal for people that have had a terrible childhood, been in bad relationships to believe that people are all bad and that you can’t trust anyone.

There are others who have been through the same things and they decide that the things they experienced are not going to control their life and they believe they deserve better and they do everything to change their situation and are an example to others on how to change their beliefs to live the life they want.

Every thought you have now, everything you do now, is also creating your future. Those emotions attached to all that you are experiencing now, is what you’re programming for your future.

When I finally realized that thoughts become things and that it was me who was responsible for how my life turned out, not anyone else, it was heartening and scary at the same time. There was no need to play the victim game or blame fate or the universe. It was up to me to make a conscious choice to be present in the moment, to turn negative thoughts into positive ones and to be grateful and happy.

Forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made, keep the lessons, knowing that you can change your life anytime. All you need is to do is decide to change and with that you can change your beliefs in an instant so that you can begin to live life on your terms and create a future you want.

If you find it difficult to replace your negative thought patterns to positive ones through repetition, the fastest way to remove those negative patterns is to find yourself a reputable hypnotist to help uninstall all those negative patterns that were installed from the time you were born to age seven.

To learn all about how your mind works and how you can remove the programming of your subconscious mind, check out Bruce Lipton, Ph.D., Cellular Biologist (www.brucelipton.com).

You may also want to check out my older blogs at www.mindvasana.com to learn more on how the subconscious/unconscious mind is responsible for many of the choices you make.

The only person you’re destined to become is the person you decide to be – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The world is full of magic things patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper – Irish poet William Butler Yeats

I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different from yours – The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

But it starts in your feet, then it goes to your head

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‘If there’s no music up in heaven, then what’s it for?
When I hear the beat, my spirit’s on me like a live-wire
A thousand horses running wild in a city on fire
But it starts in your feet, then it goes to your head
If you can’t feel it, then the roots are dead
And if you’re the judge, then what is our crime?
Here comes the night time’
Arcade Fire

Everybody has something that makes them feel or come alive. For me, it’s music and dancing; travelling; trying new foods; spending time with positive, inspiring people; reading, learning, and a few other things.

Music and dancing are easy things that can lift my mood quickly. It helps that I’m married to someone who loves music and dancing too. We met 30 years ago in a restaurant/club called Pete & Marty’s in downtown Toronto and have been together ever since, going dancing whenever we can.

Music and dancing puts me in a trance. There are days when you feel like you have no control of things going on around you. You try to stay focused and positive and tell yourself nothing stays the same forever, these situations, people that feel negative at the moment, will all be history soon, in the grand scheme of life.

Those are the days that I need my headphones with some good loud music and trance myself out of all the negativity in my head. I have to remind myself that no one can “make” me feel one way or other.

If I stay in the present moment, not thinking of the past or the future, there’s no way I can focus on the feeling of fear, anger or hurt which either happened or I think may happen in the future. Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that I choose to give it.

Music helps a lot and dancing helps me change my emotion by changing my motion and by moving to the rhythm of the music. For some people jogging, working out and hiking are positive outlets that help them to stay positive and active.

For those who find themselves binge watching Netflix or binge eating, drinking, it’s okay to do that every now and then. If however, you feel guilty each time you do that, you may want to try putting on headphones and listening to music and dance or find another positive outlet.

If nothing seems to help then, find someone that you can talk to, write in a journal or get help. Life will pass you by so quickly and, 10 years from now you’ll look back and realize that you’ve wasted your life blaming your partner, your kids, your situation, your work, your life. Life owes you nothing, your only purpose in life is to be yourself and keep growing and learning to become your best self.

If not now then when?

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi

“We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.” – Khalil Gibran

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” – Maya Angelou

www.mindvasana.com

 

I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones

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“I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow”
 Imagine Dragons

There are days when you think, is this it? You wake up, you do what you do every single day and then you go to sleep. You wait for the weekend to do the things you like, sleep in, relax, spend time with family, friends, do a few fun things and before you know it, it’s back to the daily mundane routine again. Another year goes by.

Do you feel like you’re sleeping your life away or are you moving in the direction of your dreams? It’s never too late to start living the life you want. You don’t need to know what your purpose in life is. You don’t even have to aim for some big success, just dream and do things you enjoy and take small steps to get to where you want to go.

Listen to your heart and know that there’s still time to start a different career, go back to school, do what makes you happy. Find a life coach, read books, articles or talk to someone you admire and find out what they’ve done to get where they are.

If you’re still trying to “find” yourself or what career you’d like in the future, keep searching. You could make a list of your values, rank them from 1 to 5 and look for things that you enjoy doing that match your values. Start by doing what you love as a hobby or volunteer in that field and eventually you may just end up doing it as a career.

Until you decide to move in the direction of the future you want for yourself (you can always change the destination if you choose to), you’ll never get to your destination whether it’s your dream job, dream place, dream house, dream love, positive life experiences.

If you close your eyes and you see yourself in the future 10-15 years from now, what would you want to have achieved? How old will you be? See your future you. What would you like to hear your family and friends say about you if they were celebrating your accomplishments? Write it down, you’ll be surprised when you look back at how much you’ve accomplished.

Remember that your mind is very powerful. It only responds to two things, the pictures you paint in your head and the words that you speak. Be careful what you tell yourself, it is listening to you. All it takes is a second to make up your mind to change and decide how you want to live your life.

Don’t wait for life to pass you by, start by changing the way you think, being grateful for what you have and living your best life. As you drift off to sleep, when you’re in that hypnotic state, picture where you want to be, doing what you want to be doing and taking small steps to get there.
Hypnosis is great because it takes place on the unconscious level, bypassing the critical faculty.

The things that you have been trying to change on the conscious level, often only works for a short while. A qualified hypnotist can work with your unconscious (or subconscious) mind to make permanent positive changes. Find yourself a reputable hypnotist to help you break the chains that have been holding you back and live your best life.

To learn more, check out www.mindvasana.com

“I’m just trying to wake up – I’m so afraid of sleeping all my life and then dying – I want to wake up first.” – Philip Pullman, The Amber Spyglass

“What is a teacher? I’ll tell you: it isn’t someone who teaches something, but someone who inspires the student to give of her best in order to discover what she already knows.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

“It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot

“Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.” – Richard Bach

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself” – Madonna

 

 

 

10 Things I wish I had known when I was younger

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

Ya there’s one thing for sure – I’m sure gonna try
Don’t worry ’bout the future
Forget about the past
Gonna have a ball – ya we’re gonna have a blast
Gonna make it last
18 til I die – gonna be 18 til I die
Bryan Adams – 18 Till I Die

  1. Life is short. The moment you are born, the countdown begins. Live your life on your own terms. If you don’t, you’ll be blaming others for the rest of your life. Be happy, do what makes you happy and stop listening to the naysayers.

2. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good times, nor the bad times. Enjoy every moment because there will be times that you will not be able to control things but know, that bad times won’t last forever. Think back to a time that you were miserable, when you thought you wouldn’t be able to get through it…you survived right? You learnt important lessons and you grew and became stronger.

3. Things can change in an instant. One moment you’re living your life and the next you’re in an accident or you lose your job, or your relationship ends. Being resilient, getting help and keeping a positive attitude will help you get through the rough times.

4. Forgive and forget. When you forgive and don’t forget, it’s like not forgiving in the first place. I heard that quote at a training session and it really struck me. I had heard so many people say that they had forgiven someone for a wrongdoing but they would never forget. When I heard that quote, I realized that it was true, that if you forgive you have to try and forget the wrongdoing too.

5. You are responsible for your choices. For every choice you make, there is a consequence. In the past, it was very hard for me, making decisions. I could always see two sides to everything. When I started listening to my intuition and started going with the first choice, it became easier to make the right choice. Your unconscious mind knows exactly what you should do. Listen to it.

6. Be grateful. The more grateful you are, the more things you get to be grateful for. If that is the only thing you do (write down 3-5 things you’re grateful for every day), you’ll be surprised when you look back, how well things start going for you. This is one of the easiest things to do yet, people don’t have 5 minutes to do this every day.

7. You only have today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Enjoy the moment, use your best china, wear your nice clothes and don’t wait for that special occasion. When we were leaving Brazil after living there for about a year, I met this woman who was buying my Indian clothes (which I never wore). I asked her what she was going to do with it and she told me that she and her husband would dress up and take out there best china and their best wine and spend the evening at home enjoying their time together.

8. You can ask for help. People are not mind readers. If you are feeling down or are in trouble, talk to someone. People want to help and if your friends and family knew what you were going through, they would be happy to help. When I was 18, I was in a terrible marriage, abused mentally and physically. I didn’t tell a soul, not even my family. I was ashamed, even tried to end my life. Now when I look back, all I had to do was call my family and they would have sent me the ticket to come back home.

9. You can change your mind and begin again anytime you choose. You don’t have to wait for the New Year, you don’t have to wait until your children grow up and you don’t have to wait till you’re retired. If you’re not happy, take small steps every day to change your situation and have a goal in mind.

10. Every day is a chance to learn. Whether it is personal life lessons or whether it is something you’re interested in learning, remember, there is an opportunity to learn every day. There are so many free websites, blogs where you can educate yourself on any topic. There can be no excuse for not pursuing your passion and being happy, learning and living your best life.

If you’re still lost and need help in living your best life, please check out www.mindvasana.com or find a reputable life coach or consulting hypnotist.

Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us – anonymous

Success without fulfilment is failure – Tony Robbins

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself – Rumi

If you change nothing, nothing will change – anonymous

Some people say you are going the wrong way, when it’s simply a way of your own

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

Hey, to be yourself is all that you can do…
Someone finds salvation in everyone, another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself, down inside himself he prays
Someone swears his true love until the end of time, another runs away
Separate or united, healthy or insane…
To be yourself is all that you can do
Audioslave – Be Yourself

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just be you? What if you stopped caring what people thought? What if you decided to do what you wanted to do, wear what you wanted to wear, eat what you wanted to eat and live the way you want to live? Wow, what freedom!

Life is too short to be living someone else’s life! I think it gets easier as you grow older. When you’re young, you worry about how stupid you might sound or look if you said something or did something. You worry about what people might think. You worry that they won’t love you if they knew the real you.

So much time is wasted trying to please people and not living our life on our own terms. When you look back, you’re going to regret the things you could have done when you were younger, the places you could have travelled to, the memories you could have created instead of living the “safe” life, doing what you think you should be doing.

Travel the world, meet new people, make new friends, talk to people! Say something nice, a little sentence to start a conversation and you could end up life-long friends! On our vacation to Portugal this year, we made friends with a Romanian couple while listening to Fado in a little joint in Bairro Alto, Lisbon.

We connected with a few Brazilians when we took Uber to various places. We heard their stories, how they landed up working in Portugal. They shared their stories and we felt like we’d known them forever!

It’s so easy to assume that all they might not want to chat, which could be true but you wouldn’t know if you didn’t try. Everyone has a story to tell! Take chances and be free and be happy! I love hearing people’s stories, how they became who they are, why they’re doing what they do and everything about them.

When you focus on another, you stop thinking about yourself. There comes a time when you realize that people don’t really care and they aren’t actually thinking about you, they’re too busy worrying about themselves! When we worry about what other people think, we’re actually being a little vain. We think it’s all about us and our feelings and our thoughts.

We assume people would think less of us if they knew the real us. How many times when I look back now, I wish I had trusted a friend, a family member that I could talk to when I was going through tough times. I wish I could have been brave enough to have been just ME, been honest and not worry about what they would think of me.

If you’re going through tough times, talk to a friend, open up and be brave enough to be you. Stop wasting your limited time on earth, worrying, hiding behind a façade. Be YOU or strive to become the best version of yourself!

If you need help being open, brave and need someone to talk to without any judgement and help you work through your demons, contact me at www.mindvasana.com or contact a local reputable hypnotist and work through any issues to become the best YOU!

www.mindvasana.com

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself — Friedrich Nietzsche

Be who you are and say what you want, for those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind – Dr. Seuss

You were born an original. Don’t die a copy – John Mason

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life – Steve Jobs

Some people say you are going the wrong way, when it’s simply a way of your own – Angelina Jolie

I awoke only to find that the rest of the world was still asleep

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

Fix You – Coldplay
When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse…

When you feel like there’s so much you want to do and not enough time and money to do it all, or when you feel like you have no control over anything and life is just passing you by, or if you’re struggling financially, mentally, emotionally, physically…they are all plausible reasons to cause you stress and anxiety and a feeling of helplessness.

For most people it seems stress and anxiety goes hand in hand. The difference between the two is that, stress is a response to threat while anxiety is a reaction to the stress.

Some people use prescription drugs or alcohol, or not-so-legal drugs and other means to ease their pain and anxiety because they haven’t found constructive ways to deal with their emotions.

Doctors prescribe prescription drugs as a quick and easy fix to end the suffering instead of helping their patients find alternate ways to deal with the pain and anxiety.

Everyone experiences challenges and obstacles in their lives. The difference is how you view those challenges and how you handle them.

Some people are able to find ways to face obstacles in a positive manner by practicing gratitude, talking to a therapist, practicing yoga or mindfulness or exercising, or training in martial arts, meditating, listening to music, or finding ways to help others.

There are many alternatives for mind-body healing such as through NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) or through a hypnosis practitioner or Reiki master etc.

Find yourself a reputable NLP Practitioner or Hypnotist and let them help you begin living your life the way you were meant to live. Stop playing the victim and blaming the universe and take control of your life.

When I began my journey in search of becoming my best self (still a work-in-progress), I came across so many ways that I didn’t known existed yet, they were always there. When you are ready, the tools, opportunities and answers will appear.

Begin reading and researching and find what makes sense to you. You will notice that almost all of them suggest there is a very strong connection between the mind and the body. What you think and believe creates what you bring to life. Just think about that!

If you have problems that you find hard to resolve, it’s because your unconscious mind is running you. Find ways to change those unconscious negative patterns and run your life the way you want to, by controlling your mind.

To learn more, check out www.mindvasana.com

I awoke only to find that the rest of the world was still asleep ― Leonardo da Vinci

 The world is full of magic things patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper – William Butler Yeats

 Have you ever noticed when you have a problem, you are there – Dr. Hew Len

 The only person you’re destined to become is the person you decide to be – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them – Khalil Gibran

 Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright – Bob Marley

 My heart is at ease, knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me – Al-Shafi’I, posted by a friend on Facebook

 

It’s a crooked line I follow, and a rocky road I ride

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Bitter Pill – Billy Idol
And I’d forgotten how to fly
But I’ll remember before I die
It’s a crooked line I follow
And a rocky road I ride
It’s a bitter pill I swallow

So who here has walked a straight line? Life is full of challenges and ups and downs. If you’ve lived a life where everything has always gone smoothly for you, then you’ve been living on the sidelines, too afraid to take chances or…maybe you’re just too smart and learnt from other people’s mistakes. The rest of us experienced life by making mistakes.

There are many who had no control, growing up under terrible circumstances, and others that have suffered terribly or have seen their loved ones suffer. They either become bitter, become victims, blame the universe or; they feel the pain, deal with it the best they can and learn some important life lessons which makes them stronger. They do whatever they can to become better.

Those that remain bitter and blame their childhood or circumstances, spiral down a negative road, re-living their past over and over again, making the same mistakes instead of taking steps to learn ways to overcome and turn the pain to something that propels them forward to do something good, to be positive and happy.

You always have a choice of how you want to look at things and there are always lessons to learn. Once you’re ready to make the change, when you decide you no longer want to live a life blaming your circumstances, you’ll find that things start changing. By focusing on the present, on the things you have to be thankful for, you’ll begin to notice changes in your life.

Your thoughts determine your quality of life. Some wise person once said, nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that you give it. The meaning you assign to something determines how you feel and what you do throughout your life.

If you think it is time to let go and begin living your best life, find yourself a coach, an experienced therapist or a reputable Certified Consulting Hypnotist in your area and start your journey.

Please check out my other blogs at www.mindvasana.com

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison” – Nelson Mandela

“You’ve got three choices in life: give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got.” – Unknown

“I’ve been broken in bits and after a bit, I put myself back together… bit by bit.” – Unknown

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us – Unknown

Positively Positive: How to shield yourself from negativity…whatever it takes

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Whatever it takes – Imagine Dragons
Whatever it takes
Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
Yeah take me to the top, I’m ready for
Whatever it takes

Positive people bring sunshine into our lives. They light up the room and bring joy wherever they go. Everybody looks forward to connecting with them and engaging with them. They make you feel like you matter.

We also know people who always seem to have a negative response to everything. When you ask them how they are or if they had a good weekend or any other general question, the answer is always something negative.

They go on about how terrible everything is, or they blame the traffic, the weather, people and anything and everything they encountered along the way. Soon you find yourself sympathizing with them and agreeing with them and, before you know it you get sucked in to their energy and begin to feel miserable.

So, how do you protect yourself and shield yourself from the negativity?

There are a few things you can do. I find that if I think of a few things that I’m grateful for when I first wake up, I prepare myself and wire my brain to be positive for the rest of the day.

If you meditate, practice yoga, exercise or journal, those are great ways to begin your day. Remember to continue to focus on all the things you are grateful for as you go about your day.

It takes practice to train your brain and wire it to be more positive if you typically are anxious and worry about things in general. Once you begin focus on the positive and notice all the things you have to be grateful for, you’ll find that you begin to attract positive people and events into your life.

Whatever you look for you’ll find, so if you believe that you’re unlucky or everything seems to go wrong in your life, consider changing the way you look at things and you’ll find that when you change your perception, you change what you attract.

For those who like lists, here are some tips for attracting positivity into your life:

1. First thing in the morning, think of something that you’re grateful for, then another and another…
2. Take three deep breaths
3. Stop watching/listening to the news first thing in the morning
4. Drink a glass of water and imagine the liquid healing your internal organs as it goes down
5. When taking a shower, imagine all your worries being washed away
6. When walking out your front door, imagine a protective armour over your body, protecting you from any external harm or negativity
7. Before you go to sleep, think of at least one thing you’re proud of that you did that day or re-live a compliment that you received from someone
8. Make sure you get enough sleep every day, reduce stress by practicing mindfulness, move throughout the day, eat healthy most of the time and do something fun each day. Remember we all have the same 24 hours each day, the choice is up to you what you do with it
9. Pick up a stone and keep it close to you, whenever you touch it or notice it, think of something you are grateful for…the more grateful you are, the more things you’ll get to be grateful for!
10. There are all types of groups/meet-ups that you can find online. Find something that interests you and spend time with like-minded people and people with different perspectives

Change the way you interact with anyone that is wired to respond negatively. Instead of asking them how they are and then listening to their response about how terrible everything is, compliment them and help them focus on something positive.

I find that something as simple as telling them that I love the colour that they’re wearing or how nice it was to see their post on social media…kids, pets, events etc. makes a big difference in their response. It helps them focus on the positive and also protects me from the negative responses I would normally receive from them.

Life is too short to let others get you down. Stop waking up each morning wishing you were living a different life. Enjoy each moment and be grateful for what you have. If you have a roof over your head, food to eat and clothes to wear, you’re better off than a lot of people on this planet.

Take the first step to live your best life. Find yourself a life coach or a reputable Certified Consulting Hypnotist to begin your journey. Do whatever it takes to live life to the fullest.

If you need help or for more information, please check out www.mindvasana.com

 

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.

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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. – Bob Dylan

“Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.” — Richard Bach

I love the analogy of the GPS system in planning for what you want in life.

When you decide on a destination, if you don’t set your GPS to where you want to go and if you never start the car, you’ll remain exactly where you are.

If you don’t know where you want to go, then how will you know when you get there?

The only way to get to where you want to go, is by setting your destination in your GPS and moving in that direction.

The same is true with knowing what you want in life. If you set a goal and take tiny steps to move toward the goal, you’ll eventually get there.

I remember when I was working on my degree in Business Management. I was working full time and going to school at night. It took me over 10 years and I eventually graduated. The feeling of accomplishing that dream was pure joy!

I remember conversations at that time with people when I first decided to go back to school, they said they wanted to do the same but they never got around to taking that first step to begin the journey.

If you set a goal and then take those small steps of registering for one course at a time and not get overwhelmed with all the courses that you need to take to finish your degree, you’ll eventually achieve your goal. This is true of any goal.

Focus on what you can do now, stop living in the past and worrying about the future. Set your GPS to where you want to go and start the car.

If you need help in getting past those mental blocks that are stopping you from achieving your goals or if you want to discover what you really want in your life, find yourself a good Life Coach and a reputable Consulting Hypnotist.  A good Hypnotist can help you bypass the unconscious limiting beliefs that were installed in your mind when you were little, which are holding you back from living your best life.

Alice in Wonderland:

Alice: “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
The Cheshire Cat: “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
Alice: “I don’t much care where.”
The Cheshire Cat: “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

The only person you’re destined to become is the person you decide to be – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

Htttps://mindvasana.com