Here for a Good Time

2 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

A very good friend of mine
Told me something the other day
I’d like to pass it on to you
‘Cause I believe what he said to be true

He said we’re here for a good time
Not a long time (not a long time)
So have a good time
The sun can’t shine every day
We’re Here for a Good Time (Not a long Time)
Trooper

As I looked out from my balcony at the night sky, the moon was shining down and the stars were twinkling bright. I was in awe thinking how beautiful it all was and how the same moon that shines on me, shines on you too.

It does not care whether you are black, white or brown, whether you are a Catholic, Muslim, Hindu or an atheist. It shines on each one without discrimination. Long after we are gone, the moon will continue to come out and the stars will twinkle on. To think how insignificant we really are, in the grand scheme of the Universe!

There is no one in this world like any of us, we are each one of us special and at the same time because we are unique, we are all the same. We are all connected through our humanity. When we judge and hate others or think we are more special than others, it is only our ego because we really are all equally special and unique.

We have no idea how much time we have left on earth, the moment you were born a death sentence was handed out because the only guarantee in life, is death and yet we are so afraid of death. Death does not stop us humans from doing everything to make sure we bring it on sooner by continuing to fight and kill each other.

So many people have died in 2020, it has been an unusual year where it feels like the Universe is trying desperately to re-set itself. As we get older, the inevitable death of loved ones begins to sneak into our thoughts. When our time is up, there is no second chance to make it right. Why waste your time on petty things when you do not know whether you have a day, a month, a year or a couple of decades left with the ones you love? How many more years of your limited time on this earth are you willing to sacrifice?

Live life to the fullest, accept others just the way they are, as you would expect them to accept you as you are. You are only here for a short time so have a good time the sun can’t shine everyday.

“There is no equality. The only thing people all have in common is that they are all going to die” – Bob Dylan

“The bad news is nothing lasts forever,
The good news is nothing lasts forever.”
― J. Cole

www.mindvasana.com

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice

1 Comment

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

You can choose a ready guide
In some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide
You still have made a choice
Freewill – Rush

In the nineties I quit my job and Louie and I flew to Brazil for a month to travel around to see the beautiful country and meet up with some friends that had moved there a year before. We met up with Louie’s cousins who he had not seen in decades, stopped by to see some of our old friends and made some new friends along the way.

The cold long winters in Toronto and the fact that after going through all kinds of tests trying to have a child, it looked like that was not going to happen so we decided to take a leap of faith and moved to Brazil to start a new life.

We fell in love with a beach town called Porto Seguro in the state of Bahia, met a lovely real estate agent, Ligia who became a close friend and landed up buying a piece of land there. A year later we packed up a container with all new furniture, appliances and our belongings to live by the ocean in Porto Seguro.

We found a place right in the middle of the most touristy street, in the centre of the town called “Passarela do Alcool” translated as Alcohol Road where they served exotic fruits mixed with alcohol, beautifully displayed. There were outdoor night clubs where they played music every night. The weather year-round was to die for and the ocean was right there.

We opened a store, painted it bright red and called it “Gandhi”. We sold all the usual touristy souvenirs, along with exotic knickknacks, bags, skirts and other items made in India. Everyone crossing the river to get to the island had to pass by our store.

Locally, we met some amazing people including a couple that befriended many locals and who later turned out to be international crooks. That was probably the most exciting and interesting part of our almost a year of living in Brazil.

This young couple spoke fluent Portuguese, English, French and Italian. A few days before they planned to leave Porto Seguro without paying rent where they were staying, eating on credit at different restaurants, borrowing items from all the kind folks in town, they began telling us sob stories. It began with them telling us that he had cancer and only had a few months to live so they were travelling all over the world.

Louie and I agreed to let them borrow our bikes and lent them our video camcorder among a few other things because we felt sorry for them. The next day, a whole bunch of local folks came to our store with the police to tell us that the two gorgeous crooks had tried to borrow a friend’s car. This friend was the only one who was suspicious of them and refused to lend them his car which at that time we thought was selfish and mean of him. They ended up taking the inter-state bus with our bikes, camcorder and other items, never to be seen again.

Around that time, I became pregnant and we had to consider many things including the quality of education and healthcare in a small beach town. I had begun missing family and friends back home too and the cold winters did not seem to matter anymore. We decided to sell everything and move back home to have our daughter in Toronto. We literally sold every single item except for my treasured books and photographs and some clothes which we brought back to Toronto.

There was an older lady who came by the store and wanted to buy the few sarees that I had saved. When I asked her what she was going to do with them, she taught me a great lesson that day. She said she and her husband would frequently dress up and take out their finest China and the best bottle of wine when it was just the two of them and celebrate life. When they had their friends, children and grandchildren over, they used their regular China and inexpensive bottles of wine. She said to me, never save your best treasures for special occasions, make your day-to-day life special together. I can picture her wearing a saree having a romantic dinner with her love.

I am glad Louie was always up for adventure and ready to drive into the sunset with me. In some ways being impulsive has made me open to try many things but at the same time I have made a lot of mistakes when I was younger but those mistakes have helped me grow and learn a lot of important lessons.

Life is so unpredictable, do what your heart wants to do because if you decide to wait for the right time, it may be too late. If you choose not to choose, you are still making a choice not to choose.

“You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence, we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices.” – Deepak Chopra

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” – Steve Jobs

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“People always ask me, ‘What is it that you regret?’ And I say, ‘nothing, because I could not buy what I’ve learned.’ And I apply those things to my life I learn. And hopefully, hopefully it helps me to be a better human in the future and make better choices.” – Katy Perry

“Some choices we live not only once but a thousand times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives.” – Richard Bach

www.mindvasana.com

So no one told you life was going to be this way

2 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

But, I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before.
I’ll be there for you, cause you’re there for me too.“
I’ll Be There for You (Soundtrack “Friends”)
The Rembrandts

The suicide of a young Bollywood actor recently and a few other famous celebrities in the past, got me thinking about loneliness, desperation and life.

The last few months have been tough on a lot of people, especially some of my single friends. There are many that are used to living on their own and like the freedom to do what they want, when they want, without having to answer to anyone, but there are those moments when the loneliness is getting to them or they are bored and missing the human connection, a hug that in the past was taken for granted.

Some have been in relationships before and have been jaded or hurt and are afraid to open themselves up to new relationships. Even with the world wide web and all the dating apps, it still is not easy to find that perfect mate, your soulmate that they say, everyone has out there.

If you are tired of being alone, maybe you need to start looking at this differently, maybe there is no one person for you. Perhaps there is more than one soulmate out there; one that likes reading and discussing books with you, or another soulmate who loves your kind of music and concerts, or one who loves to travel or go on adventures or another that just likes to sit at home and relax.

Then there are others who are living in a loveless relationship and wish they were alone because the connection has worn off or they have drifted apart. If you have a strong bond and are open and understanding, that can get you through the tough times. People can be lonely even when surrounded by hundreds of people, admired and looked up to, as we have seen with the many celebrities who have taken their own life.

How does one get to that stage? Unless you have been through such total despair, loneliness, thinking that no one can help, it is hard to understand. I know that pain of wanting to end it all, many years ago, but luckily, having come through it alive, I realize now that when I was at my lowest, I could have gone to so many people that could have helped me but I was ashamed to ask. At that time, it did not feel like an option but there is always someone who will help. All you must do is, open up and trust.

For anyone who is desperate and needs to talk to someone, if you are going through something that you think you cannot take anymore, please know that you are not alone and that you can connect with me and I will find a way to help you or connect you with someone. Even if you think no one cares, you must keep trying because there is always hope when you are feeling total despair. The good and the bad never last forever and this too shall pass.

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” — Maya Angelou

“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps and others emphasize my loneliness.” ―Anaïs Nin

“The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.” – Mitch Albom

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel alone.” – Robin Williams

“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” – Orson Welles

www.mindvasana.com

With Illusions of Someday

3 Comments

First thing we’d climb a tree
And maybe then we’d talk
Or sit silently
And listen to our thoughts
With illusions of someday
Cast in a golden light
No dress rehearsal
This is our life
Ahead By a Century – The Tragically Hip

There is no dress rehearsal, this is our life. We think someday we will have everything we dreamed of and then we will be happy, but there are no guarantees, no one knows how much time we really have or how our life can change in an instant.

We take things for granted, waiting for that perfect time to live our best life and when we look back, another day has gone by, another year and another decade gone by.

Life passes us by so quickly on the treadmill of this rat race. We think we are getting ahead but really; we are not going anywhere, just spinning in one place.

If seems like no one is satisfied with what they have, everyone wants more and more until everything comes to a standstill and then we have no choice but to take stalk of what is important in our lives.

It is only when we or someone we love is suddenly faced with a life-threatening health issue or is in an accident, or hit with some other tragedy, that we realize how precious every moment is. The little moments spent with loved ones, doing things we enjoy are the important moments, not the big dreams of material things.

If you are waiting to be happy once you have a new job, more money, a bigger better house, or the perfect partner, you are not living your best life. The only way to live your best life is to enjoy this present moment and to be grateful for what you have now.

It is okay to dream and plan and fantasize about the life you want but do not forget to live the life you have now, this moment that will be gone forever in the next moment.

If you are waiting for an apology from someone, if you are holding a grudge, now is the time to let it go, do not take it into the next month or the next year. Write down all the hurt, the pain that you think they are responsible for and then burn that paper. Feel yourself free of the hold they had on you and let go of it forever. Remember, forgiving and not forgetting is like not forgiving at all.

If you are still playing the victim, stop wasting your time and know that at any moment, you have a choice to change your beliefs about anything. At any moment you can say this is no longer me, I choose to believe something different and take steps to move toward the life that you want.

Look at all your beliefs and examine them. Is it true or is it because someone told you it was so? What is right and what is wrong, decide for yourself instead of following old rules and beliefs that were passed down to you from generations. You only live this life once so live it on your own terms. There is no dress rehearsal, this is life.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” – Mae West

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” – Omar Khayyam

“You only pass through this life once, you don’t come back for an encore.” — Elvis Presley

“Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.” – John Lennon

www.mindvasana.com

Every Little Thing Gonna Be Alright

2 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Don’t worry about a thing
‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Singing’ don’t worry about a thing
‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Rise up this mornin’
Smiled with the risin’ sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Saying’, (this is my message to you)”
Three Little Birds – Bob Marley, Bob Marley and the Wailers

In times of trouble, in times of fear, do you choose despair, or do you choose hope? This life is so unpredictable, one day everything is fine and the next day you are in the middle of this crazy corona virus spell. To top it off, some of us are going through other stressful issues.

Amidst the lockdown, my husband, Louie had to be taken by EMT to the hospital when he lost consciousness and fell in the bath last month. Luckily, he did not sustain any injuries, but the doctors noticed an issue with his tongue which started the rollercoaster chain of events. After several appointments and a biopsy, Louie was diagnosed with tongue cancer which came as a complete shock as he does not smoke and, drinks occasionally.

It has been an extremely stressful time for all of us, going to the hospital during covid-19 for appointments, watching him suffer in pain and losing so much weight in such a short time frame. I think the worst feeling is to see a loved one suffer and in pain.

It is so easy to spiral down the road of fear and anxiety unless you make a conscious effort to stay positive. I know how important it is to look for the good when everything seems to be going wrong and out of control, but some days are a lot harder than others to stay positive.

We have been reminding ourselves that despite everything, we have been fortunate because our daughter Bianca is at home and, her boyfriend made it to Canada just before the flight ban and, his support has been invaluable. Having the three of us at home with Louie, has been a blessing.

With COVID-19, the hospitals are cleaner, getting appointments with Specialists are relatively easy since all non-urgent surgeries have been postponed. The three of us don’t need to physically go into work or school during the closure. My work family at HRPA has been immensely supportive, especially our CEO and my team.

We have my brother and his wife frequently dropping off homemade soup for Louie and meals and treats for us. We have support from family and friends from all over the world connecting us to family friends that are doctors in the States and in India, they are reviewing the medical reports and scans and advising us. People are praying for him, chanting for him or sending him healing vibes and I’m downloading positive healing messages every chance I get, while he’s falling asleep.

All our lives, Louie has been the stay-at-home husband/father who ran a business from home and selflessly took care of all the household work including cooking everyday. The tables have now turned, and it is our turn to take care of him while he gets better.

We realize this is going to be a long journey, but we have the best doctors in one of Canada’s top hospitals taking care of Louie. With the support of loved ones, a few months from now, Louie will be well on the road to recovery.

If you are going through a stressful situation, remember to take care of yourself too. Some of the things that have been helping me keep sane are, meditation, writing all the things I am grateful for each day, visualizing the future that I look forward to and listening to music.

Take one day at a time and each time you have a negative thought, replace it with three positive ones. Choose to focus on all the good in your life and know that whatever is gong to be, will be. Enjoy every moment with your loved ones and trust that the Universe always has your back. As Bob Marley says, every little thing gonna be alright.

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always get worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better.” – Malcolm S. Forbes

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” – Mahatma Gandhi

www.mindvasana.com

See you on the other side of this chaos

1 Comment

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
Oh, and it’s time to lend a hand to life

The greatest gift of all
We can’t go on
Pretending day-by-day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are the World – U.S.A. for Africa

Oh, those days of dreaming about not having to commute to work or wishing you could work from home and have more time to spend with family. Guess what, our dreams have come true. No more waiting for another year to be happy.

The whole world has slowed down, we have more time to relax, read books, experiment with those recipes that we had no time to try because we were always busy with work and on the go, all the time. So many things to do around the house? Not to worry anymore, plenty of time now.

Time to spend with your little ones and more time to spend time with the family, playing board games, baking, teaching your kids things that you wish you had time to do in the past, before the whole world slowed down.

I know it is going to be tough for many of us, trying to slow down from our busy schedules, however, when you have no choice but to do so, you are forced to come to terms with it. That is when the journey to a new way of living begins.

Now that we have what we wished for and realize how powerful we are because we made our dreams come true by wishing, thinking and visualizing it, how about dreaming of a new reality. A world where everyone has enough to live a comfortable life, time to spend with loved ones, doing what we love. Our life is so fragile and temporary in this physical realm.

If we all focus on the positive things that have come out during these strange times, perhaps our collective thinking will move us toward a positive outcome. We have no clue of who is going to live and who is going to die or when. The only thing we know for sure is that as soon as we are born, our days are numbered and that we are all going to die one day.

Since we really have no control about when, will be our time to leave this physical world, the limited time that we have on this earth, best to live doing things we enjoy. This is a good time to take stock of everything that matters to you.

Make a list of things you are grateful for (reminder – whatever you are grateful for, you get more of), a list of all the things that make you happy, what would your ideal life look like? This is a good time to reflect and write down your bucket list, you will notice that the things you thought you wanted in the past, no longer really matter.

You never know what tomorrow will bring, things could be even worse but know that the bad times too will pass, and the world will probably be a lot different than the one we knew a few weeks back. I hope we learn to live in peace with each other, with nature and with ourselves. Let go of things you cannot control but never give up hope for the future. We are all in this together.

For those of you with little ones, your attitude toward the current situation now, is going to leave a mark on them in how they see the world and how they react to whatever happens in the future.

Till the age of seven, children download everything happening around them, into their subconscious/ unconscious mind and operate from that in their adult life, so please be mindful and help them focus on things that they can be grateful for and to stay positive.

Good luck everyone and see you on the other side of this chaos. Let us all come together as one and make the best of this situation. This too will pass as… nothing lasts forever.

“The wide world is all about you: you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot forever fence it out.” – J. R. R. Tolkien

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” – Robert Breault

“We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.” — Seneca

“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” — Japanese Proverb

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” — Marcus Aurelius

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.” — Henry David Thoreau

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” — Steve Jobs

The Magic Is In The Music And The Music Is In Me

6 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

If you believe in magic don’t bother to choose
If it’s jug band music or rhythm and blues
Just go and listen it all starts with a smile
You won’t wipe off your face no matter how hard you try
Your feet start tapping and you can’t seem to find
How you got there, it all blows your mind

If you believe in magic, come along with me
And we’ll dance until morning baby just you and me
And maybe, if the music is right
I’ll see you tomorrow, late at night
And we’ll go dancing, baby, then you’ll see
How the magic’s in the music and the music’s in me
Do You Believe In Magic – John Cougar Mellencamp

“Music is all you really need. Love and music is all we need” – Eric Clapton, 2000 Induction. This is the quote that stood out for me the last time we visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland.

Music lifts you up or brings you down depending on what you are listening to and, how you are feeling. A song comes on the radio or the DJ plays a song and it takes you back to good times or sad times.

Music can transport you to your teenage years, to another time, to another country, to your darkest days or your happiest ones. Music can instantly bring a smile to your face or it can bring tears in your eyes. Music and especially words are powerful!

I cannot imagine a life without music. I need music in the morning, during the day when possible and, soothing music at night as I fall asleep. I love the lyrics, the rhythm and all those talented folks that can write and make music.

In times of sorrow or tough decisions that I need to make, I find a song will come on the radio and the lyrics will speak to me as if giving me the answer to what I need to do. A message I need to hear, maybe something that gives me hope or lifts me up from sadness.

There are no coincidences, there is a reason for everything. If you pay attention, maybe it is something you need to hear and the message in the lyrics is for you.

If we listen to our heart and ask ourselves what we need to do, the message will show up, either in a song or in a book or in something someone says or a whisper.

When you are ready to hear the message, it will show up somewhere. All you need to do is ask yourself and then listen and act on it. We always have a choice what we want to take from it.

In my darkest days, I would listen to sad music and feel even more depressed and wish the world or at least my world would end. Now, I am a different person and know that life will always bring joys and sorrow and even the bad days will come to an end. How I choose to respond to it, is my choice. I choose music that lifts me up and makes me dance.

If the lyrics speak to you and make sense to you, you have the choice to do what you want with it. They are just little whispers nudging you because in your heart you already know what you want.

What you listen to constantly, what you read, what you think, how you talk to yourself and to others, is what you are attracting into your life. Careful what you hear and absorb because that is what becomes your life.

Make sure that most of the time, you are listening to upbeat music with lyrics that make you smile and happy. Tap your feet to the music, think of all those songwriters pouring their heart out in a song and dance when you can. Why walk when you can dance!

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent” – Victor Hugo

“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.” – Albert Einstein

“After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” – Aldous Huxley

“When words fail music speaks.” – Irena Huang

“He took his pain and turned it into something beautiful. Into something that people connect to. And that’s what good music does. It speaks to you. It changes you.” – Hannah Harrington

“Without music, life would be a mistake.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Stuck in Reverse, What Could Be Worse

5 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something, you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
Fix You – Coldplay

The start of a new decade and resolutions have or have not been made. If you have made resolutions to be the best version of you in some area of your life, this is the time where you are still going strong or you are already pretty much over it.

Instead of resolutions to lose weight, find a life partner, make a lot of money or any other goals you may have made, how about focusing on a couple of areas in your life that limit you from being your best self and working on those instead, or maybe, seeing the positive side of the thing you think limits you?

I prefer to focus on emotions and states of mind, like happiness and peace of mind instead of a specific goal. Happiness is subjective and may mean different things to different people, so think of things that you enjoy doing that bring you those emotions.

I love to travel, dance, read books and help people realize that by changing their mind, they can change their lives. If these are the things that bring joy to me and I focus on them instead of trying to fight the things that I want to change about myself, I believe happiness and peace of mind are likely to be the outcome.

Someone asked me recently, as a leader of a department who does not like conflict in general, is it not something that I should try and overcome? To be honest, I have been to trainings, read books on how to handle situations but have finally come to realize, that it is just not me.

I have goals but I am not cut-throat ambitious, and I have never asked for promotions, yet, those that moved me up, did so because they saw something that they liked and believed in me. If I was to change and not be true to myself, I wouldn’t be where I am in my career and happy and at peace too.

I have finally realized that instead of changing, to become something I am not; I am going to see the positive side of the thing that I am not and focus on enhancing that.

For every negative situation, there is a positive side and for every positive side there is an opposite side as well. What you choose to focus on, is up to you.

If travelling, dancing, reading and helping people are the things that make me happy, I need to make time for them and perhaps give up some things that are draining me.

If I can’t travel to an exotic place right now because of time restraints, I can do a short road trip somewhere closer. If I can’t go dancing every night, I can do so on the weekends and during the week put on headphones and dance at home. If I can’t finish reading a book in a day, a week or a month, I can read a page or two instead.

For the part of being able to help others change their mind to change their life, every day, I tell the Universe – thank you for all that I have, I am so lucky to have a loving, supportive family, good health, a good job, great colleagues, friends and; if there is something more out there for me to live my best life, bring it on so that I can help others live their best life too.

Ever since I began doing that, I am being drawn to people that I can help using my learnings, experiences and trainings in NLP, hypnosis and other modalities.

If there is one thing to do to get started, it is to write in a journal the things that you are grateful for now (there is always something to be grateful for) and soon you’ll realize that you get more of the things that you’re grateful for because by focusing on the positive, you are rewiring your brain and attracting more of the things you focus on.

“Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.” — Richard Bach

“Have you ever noticed when you have a problem – you are there” – Dr Hew Len.

“Everything you’re running from is in your head’ – Anonymous

“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time” – John Lennon

“The only person you’re destined to become is the person you decide to be” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Train of Life Carries Saints and Sinners

7 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

This train carries saints and sinners
This train carries losers and winners
This train carries whores and gamblers
This train carries lost souls
I said, this train carries broken-hearted
This train thieves and sweet souls departed
This train carries fools and kings
This train, all aboard
I said, this train dreams will not be thwarted
This train faith will be rewarded
Land of Hope and Dreams – Bruce Springsteen

I love the analogy about the train and life.

Life is like a one-way train ride with no return ticket. We all get on the train of life when we are born and along the way we get off at whichever station we choose or stay on till the end of the line.

There are sometimes accidents along the way, and we must board another train or wait for the one to be fixed and continue along the way. Although we travel with other people along the way, each person’s journey is unique.

Sometimes we meet interesting people on our journey when new people get on the train, and other times, we must bid farewell to those who are travelling with us on the journey for part of the way. We may never see them again or we may decide to stay in touch and catch up again at another station.

We can get off at any stop or choose to stay on the train and continue along with the passengers who are going in the same direction. All the people we meet on the train become part of our life whether for a moment or for part of the journey.

Every time someone new gets on the train, you judge them and they judge you, the human instinct to protect themselves from danger then when you hear their stories, the connection happens and we accept them for the ride.

There are some people that we form deep connections with along the way, as if we’ve known them all our lives even though they just got on the train. There are others you may have been travelling with for a long time and they are there to remind you where you’re headed and to protect you from yourself.

If someone who looks and dresses very different from us gets on the train, we may think we have nothing in common but when we start a conversation, we learn we do have a lot in common. We may also learn from each other, perhaps questioning our beliefs, looking at things from another perspective.

A musician going from carriage to carriage may stop by ours and play us a song on his guitar and awaken something deep in ourselves.

You may meet the love of our life, your soulmate or soul sister on the train or you may not want to share your train ride with anyone, but people will get off and on throughout the journey whether we want them to or not.

If you keep your heart open, you’ll realize all those people that crossed your path were there for a reason whether to teach you a lesson or someone who needed to learn something from you.

They are all connected to us and we carry their energy within us even when they are long gone. We can choose to remember them or push them way to the back of our memories.

Along the way, we may realize that some of the things we brought with us we no longer need and are bearing us down, so we toss them out of the train and immediately feel lighter.

We realize that we are not too different from one another. Everyone is trying to get to their destination safely, hoping to enjoy the ride along the way and, in the end we may realize, no one is right or wrong, we all see things differently because of our experiences along the journey.

On this train of life, whether we get off at the first stop or last, we always have a choice how much baggage we want to carry with us and how we want our journey to be while on the train of life.

“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare

“Sinners judging sinners for sinning differently.” ― Sui Ishida

“Nothing forbids man to enjoy himself, save grim and gloomy superstition” ― Baruch Spinoza

“I saw that all the things I feared and which feared me had nothing good or bad in them save in so far as the mind was affected by them.” ― Baruch Spinoza

www.mindvasana.com

I say the heart is like an open hand

4 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

They say the heart is shaped just like a fist
Holding in its feelings
I say the heart is like an open hand
Holding out and healing
Oh wherever you go – don’t ya know
The world is full of mysteries
Full of magic and of wonder
There’s so much more than what we see
Can’t explain the spell I’m under
Mysterious Ways – Bryan Adams

The world is full of wonder if we open our eyes and heart to see and feel all the magic that is around us.

So many are trapped in their day to day reality of things to do, lists to cross out and plans to make for the future instead of being in the moment, the only moment that is guaranteed to us. They are busy thinking of the next thing to do or all the things that are missing in their life.

The realists, the skeptics, the ones who think they are in control of their lives are amused by the mystics, the romantics, the ones that are one with the Universe, living in the moment, dancing to the tunes that move them.

Magic is in everything you touch; in everything you feel or see… in all your senses. It’s like when you touch or even think about a book that was passed on to you from a loved one, you can feel their energy in the book.

If someone gives you a gift, they transfer their energy and love to you. This whole universe is made up of energy that we can sense and feel if we only bother to pay attention. All you need to do is feel gratitude and sense the energy in the gift as it engulfs your being.

If a loved one is no longer with us, their presence is still always with us because they live on in our memories and in our hearts. It’s the same with people that you feel a connection with, you may only have met them once, but you feel a deep connection and they don’t have to be physically close to you for them to be there with you.

I believe you can have multiple soulmates throughout your lifetime. I believe soulmates come in many forms, they can be a romantic partner, a friend, a teacher, a sibling, someone that you feel a deep connection with. You may not agree with them on everything, but they get you and you get them.

It could even be someone you meet in an elevator or grocery store every so often. You may not know their name but there is a connection. There are some people that you really want to get to know, learn everything about them, the good, the bad and the ugly and accept them just as they are.

Other times, with some people, you are happy just running into them every now and then, having a brief conversation and feeling the connection without needing to know anymore about them.

Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself, who accept you as you are and bring joy to your life just by being in your life. Send out positive vibrations into the universe and feel it coming right back at you.

Life is too short to be unhappy, so focus on the good and remember that the more grateful you are for the things you have in your life, the more things you will get to be grateful for.

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration” – Nikola Tesla

“Your energy introduces you even before you speak” – The Biology of Belief, Dr. Bruce Lipton

“Can miles truly separate you from friends… If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?” – Richard Bach

“Everywhere there is a soul, connected to another soul” – Rumi

Check out www.mindvasana.com for other blogs

Mercy on the man who doubts what he’s sure of

3 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“So tell me who I see
When I look in your eyes
Is that you baby
Or just a brilliant disguise”
Brilliant Disguise – Bruce Springsteen

I was thinking the other day, that we each walk around in a brilliant disguise. Not one person sees you exactly the same way, so even if you think you are being your most authentic self, people see you from their own perspective.

Everyone that you meet or have ever met in your life, sees a different version of you.
Your parents, your siblings, friends, co-workers, people that cross your path for a second, a minute or a lifetime. Not one person sees you exactly the same way.

So then, the question I ask is, is there such a thing as the “real” you if there are so many different versions of you? Which one are you really?

We keep changing and growing each day, so it is impossible to remain the same person forever. I know I’m a pretty different person from the lost, impulsive younger me who made tons of mistakes growing up.

The people that knew me then would probably know a totally different version of me than someone who met me in the last couple of decades or so.

To think I wasted all those younger years worrying about what people thought of me when they really weren’t thinking of me at all! Lucky for me, the years and life experiences have made me a little wiser so it doesn’t matter what version I am to you.

The people that I meet and feel an immediate connection with, are the people that I feel like I have known forever. They like the version I am because of their perception of me.

Feelings can neither be right or wrong so stop doubting what you’re sure of and go with the flow. Be whoever you want to be because it doesn’t really matter as long as you’re happy being you.

“God have mercy on the man, Who doubts what he’s sure of.”
Brilliant Disguise, Bruce Springsteen

“Who are you today?
Will you be the sun or the pouring rain?
Who are you tomorrow?
Will you make me smile or just bring me sorrow?“
Who are You – Fifth Harmony

“Who we become and who we are
Can be the same or miles apart
All depends on our heart
Is it soft or is it hard.”
Our Heart, Steve Flemming

www.mindvasana.com

Every Breath You Take

1 Comment

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you
Every Breath You Take – The Police

This song by The Police is not on my regular playlist of songs, but my cell phone was dead, so I decided to use my husband’s phone. He has a mix of genres of music on his phone, and the song, Every Breath You Take came up and, it brought back memories to the time when I first heard this song.

When I first heard the song, I took the words as literal but when I heard it the other day, it had a different meaning. With all the reading and learning I have been doing in the past few years on how powerful our subconscious mind is and how our beliefs affect what we manifest in our life…the words to me now meant… be careful what you think, say or do, as the subconscious mind is always watching and bringing to execution literally whatever you think or believe “…every step you take, I’ll be watching you…”.

Have you noticed when you focus on something, you tend to see it everywhere? When you are thinking of buying a certain model of car, you see that model everywhere, on billboards, in traffic and on television. This is called the Reticular Activating System (RAS), it filters out unnecessary information, so the important stuff gets through.

Similarly, if you focus on the good and are grateful for all that you have, you will attract more of it. When you focus on what you don’t have, or what you have lost or how unlucky you are, your beliefs will attract more of that. The energy surrounding you becomes negative and it impacts not only you but everyone around you.

It is okay to be sad and feel the emotions that you feel but you cannot stay in that state for too long, you have to make the effort to change your negative state and turn it into a positive one if you want to attract more of the positive vibes into your life.
 
How to change attracting what you don’t want, to attracting what you do want:

  1. Focus on what is great, what are you grateful for now (this is the number one thing that will change your life for the better).
  2. Listen to music you enjoy.
  3. Do things that you enjoy doing, like, cooking, hiking, dancing.
  4. Meditate, there are lots of free guided meditations on YouTube.
  5. Walk in nature, surround yourself with plant and flowers.
  6. Learn something new or teach someone something you are good at.
  7. When you have one negative thought, change it by thinking of 3 positive ones.
  8. Read books, blogs or articles that inspire you.
  9. Stay in the present, focus on NOW because what you focus on now is creating your future.

The above are all simple things to do and, if we can help each other and ourselves stay in the present, being grateful for every moment on this earth, the more joy and happiness we will attract and experience.
Please check out www.mindvasana.com for my earlier blogs.

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein

“Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.” ― Santosh Kalwar

A sound so strong, that calls my name

Leave a comment

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“I hear the wind across the plain
A sound so strong, that calls my name
It’s wild like the river, it’s warm like the sun
Yeah it’s here, this is where I belong
Under the starry skies
Where eagles have flown
This place is paradise…”
This Is Where I Belong – Bryan Adams

Have you ever met someone and felt an immediate connection? Like you’ve known them forever or met them before in another lifetime? It happens all the time and when you get to know them better, you realize you have so much in common. This is because they are on the same frequency or vibration as you. They get you, understand you and are in harmony with you. That is why you feel those good vibes and you enjoy spending time with them.

We humans are always looking to seek out harmony in the world and, to find people that understand us and get us. If you want to attract the right people into your life, you must be your true self. If you pretend to be someone you’re not, you’ll end up attracting the wrong people.

So how do you go about finding your people and why is it important? I have friends that some may find weird, but I get them, and they get me. You can also have more than one tribe. Why put the burden of so many sentiments on one person or one group of friends?

You may have a group of friends that love to dance so you spend Friday or Saturday evenings with them, listening to a band or dancing to the music the DJ’s playing.

Then you may have another group of friends that don’t really care for dancing but they like getting together to talk about the power of the mind. They are also your peeps.

How about your book club that enjoys reading and discussing books they’ve read or those that are into sports, so you spend a day or two in your week getting together with them and playing golf, hockey, shooting baskets or playing pool?

Then there’s the one special romantic partner who may also fall into some of the other groups. They are all your people. Spend time with people that make you happy, that get you and live life to the fullest. Don’t wait for that one special person, or soulmate to fulfill you or bring you happiness.

Here are some ways you can find your soulmate(s):

  1. Make a list of things you enjoy doing. Do you enjoy dancing, hiking, reading, travelling, photography, connecting people or any of the zillions of other things in this world?
  2. Join a meetup group. There are groups for all kinds of activities and interests. There are meetup groups for those that like salsa, retro music, disco, travelling, going to comedy shows and movies, hypnosis, mindfulness, meditation, making new friends etc. etc. You could also create your own meetup group if you can’t find anything you like.
  3. Check out your local community centre for programs they offer or check their bulletin boards with people offering something that may interest you.
  4. Google the kind of workshops that interest you. There may be adult learning programs, like a cooking class, photography or yoga class available in your community, or not too far from you.
  5. Be brave and post on Facebook or other social media platforms. You may be surprised to find that there are some friends on your list that may be interested in the same things.
  6. Reach out to acquaintances that you find interesting and seem to participate in activities that you enjoy. Make the first move to reach out to them.
  7. Be the first to start a conversation and smile while waiting in line for something or whenever the opportunity arises, you never know who you may meet!

I think people are so interesting and everyone has a story, yes, even you! Stop worrying about what people think of you because they are not, they’re busy thinking about themselves!

Stop judging yourself and others and live your life doing things you enjoy now!

If you need help focusing or deciding what you want, find yourself a life coach or find a reputable hypnotist who can help you discover your true self. For more info, or if you’d like to read my older blogs, please check out my website www.mindvasana.com

“Trust the vibes you get, energy doesn’t lie.” – ― Genereux Philip

“Vibe high and the magic around you will unfold.” ― Akilnathan Logeswaran

“Tell your story. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it if you have to. But tell it. Some won’t understand it. Some will outright reject it. But many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. One by one, voices will start whispering, ‘Me, too.’ And your tribe will gather. And you will never feel alone again.” ― L.R. Knost

No, You Can’t Always Get What You Want

2 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

No, you can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
You Can’t Always Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones

This Rolling Stones song was playing on the radio the other day and the lyrics made me think. We’ve all heard podcasts, read books, watched videos, movies or maybe attended personal growth seminars telling us we can get anything we want if we dream big enough or if we visualize the right way.

What happens when our dream don’t come true? We get discouraged. I think the one thing they forget to mention or we choose not to hear, is that sometimes you may not get what you want but you may end up getting what you need.

If you look back on your life and think of a time when you thought you couldn’t survive without the love of your life or something else. As time passed, you got through it, you met someone else who was even more perfect or, you landed somewhere living a life even bigger than the one you dreamed.

Life has a funny way of giving us just what we need to learn and grow. It’s fine to have goals and dreams and to work on them but we must be willing to be flexible and go with the flow when needed.

These are some of the things I’ve learnt in my life:

I’ve learnt that to live a happy life you first have to be grateful right now. If you’re not happy and grateful now, there’s no guarantee you’ll be happy when you achieve your goal. There will always be something bigger to chase.

You must have a positive mindset. It’s normal to have negative thoughts but if you want to start thinking positively; you must replace the negative thought with a positive one each time. When you make a conscious effort to do so, you’ll begin to attract positive things into your life. Your thoughts and beliefs also have a direct outcome on your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.

It is better to be kind than to be right. Everyone lives their life from their point of view. If you look at the other person with love and compassion instead of judging them because you don’t agree with their views, there are at least two positive outcomes. Your mind is operating in a positive mindset way so you attract more of the positive vibes into your life. What you give is what you get in the end. This doesn’t mean you agree with them but you listen and seek to understand their point of view.

I have also learnt that what is meant to be will be and that everything happens for a reason. So be grateful, think positive thoughts, be kind and be happy.

If you’re struggling in your life, please find yourself a reputable hypnotist or life coach to help you escalate your journey to living your best life now.

For more information, check out my earlier blogs at www.mindvasana.com

“I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different from yours”.– The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi

“Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright.” – Bob Marley

“One secret of life is that the reason life works at all is that not everyone in your tribe is nuts on the same day.” – Anne Lamott

“Can miles truly separate you from friends… If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?” – ― Richard Bach

And we all make our choices like a blind man feels his way

2 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

As they wandered
Around so confused
Some day
They’ll make their decision
But which one will they choose
And we all make our choices
Like a blind man feels his way,
And the choice I’ve made is simple:
Passion over pain.
Choices – Uriah Heep

Are you living your life on autopilot? Are you going through the motions, day-by-day waiting for a wake-up call? Do you need a drastic event so that you can stop and think about what you really want and start living? Are you living a “good enough” life or are you living a life with no regrets?

Living your best life doesn’t necessarily mean having a lot of money or fame. Success is whatever makes you happy and fulfilled. Many of us live life on autopilot life until we experience or are moved by something that happens to someone we love and then we “wake-up” and realize life is too short to be living like this.

If you are wondering why you cannot make a change or why you struggle, studies have shown that there are many characteristics that are imprinted in us from the time, even before we were born to age seven and that 95% of our decisions are made from a subconscious or unconscious mind that was formed then.

Things that come easily to you, where you don’t have to put in much effort, are a result of the programming you received when you were young. If you had loving, supporting caregivers and teachers who encouraged you and were positive role models, your subconscious was programmed to believe that the world was generally a good place and you looked and operated on that level and things came easily to you without much effort.

If a parent abandoned you when you were young, then you probably developed unconscious beliefs that people who love you would eventually leave you. Everything in your environment during that period had an effect on your beliefs which became part of your subconscious mind. The television that you watched, the people you were around and everything else you experienced during that period. These beliefs that were formed when you were young are usually the reasons you are not living your best life.

There was a time that I worried about everything. If there was anything that I wanted to do, I made sure not to get my hopes up. I wanted to be prepared if something were to go wrong so that I would not be disappointed. I unconsciously played all the negative scenarios without even realizing I was doing that. Without even knowing it and living life in fear, judging myself critically, worrying about what everyone thought, my beliefs were quite negative. I therefore attracted people and situations into my life that had even more of a negative impact on my life.

It was only many years later when I dove deeply into learning more about the power of the mind and our belief systems and on how to live my best life that I slowly changed. It led me to do a lot of reading on this topic and other related topics on the power of changing subconscious beliefs that were holding me back from living my best life. I took many training course which included hypnosis and getting certified as a Certified Hypnotist.

Have you ever told yourself, “I am so unlucky”, “I never win anything”? I did that in the past too. I was superstitious and told myself the numbers 13 and 17 were unlucky. I avoided doing things on those dates each month. Imagine living all your life in fear of those numbers.

When my daughter was born, I realized I didn’t want her to grow up living like that so I told her that those numbers were lucky for our family and any other negative superstitions had a positive effect on our family. Gradually, I started focussing on the positive and as I read and studied more about the power of the mind, I realized that it was not anyone but me who was responsible for my happiness. It was up to me to choose what I wanted and how I wanted to live so I slowly began fixing my unconscious negative beliefs.

These are the things I do regularly now which have moved me into a positive mindset:

  1. I keep a gratitude journal and write the things I am grateful for, usually 3-5 each day and throughout the day I try to bring back my focus to things I see or things that happen and, in my mind give thanks for them, whether it’s a beautiful bird that flies past or a white feather I come across or if someone does something nice. When you are grateful, you get even more things to be grateful for.
  2. I listen to a short guided meditation to start the day or imagine a golden healing light going through all the cells of my body from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, healing me physically, mentally, emotionally.
  3. I read books that are inspiring, I listen to motivational talks, and attend talks and training programs to improve myself and grow constantly.
  4. When negative thoughts cross my mind, I constantly question them and change them to positive ones. Instead of expecting the worst, I expect the best.

Since I changed my way of thinking, expecting things to go well, things somehow do go well and if sometimes they don’t, I try worry about it only then. I feel so lucky and grateful for all the happiness in my life ever since I changed the way I think.

Do you find yourself judging others? If a friend posts something on social media where they seem to be having a good time, do you feel happy to see them happy or does your mind become critical? Does it make you envious or jealous? Next time, catch yourself and ask yourself which unconscious belief is making you react this way? When you learn to accept and love people for who they are, you are in turn learning to love and accept yourself for who you truly are.

Life is too short so enjoy every moment. Live your best life now because that is all you have.

Please check out my website www.mindvasana.com for other blogs.

“Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you” – Richard Bach

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself” – Madonna

“My philosophy is worrying means you suffer twice” – J.K. Rowling

”If you change nothing, nothing will change” – anonymous

When you come to a fork in the road, take it

2 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) – Green Day

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? Do you take the path less travelled or the one already set for you and follow along?

When you have a major life decision to make or even a little one, do you weigh all the pros and cons or do you let your heart and instinct guide you?

Some people seem to know exactly what they want and go for it, while there are others that cannot decide which road to take and find they are too late for whatever it was that could have been on the other side.

It could be a house you were looking to buy and you really wanted it but waited a day too long to decide and by the time you were ready to say yes, it was gone, sold to someone who also really wanted the same house. They followed their heart and said yes, took action immediately and put in an offer and the house became their home.

There could have been a time when you decided to go on a vacation and you were looking for deals and you came across a deal so good but you waited a day too long, thinking you could get a better deal and instead, the price kept going up and you missed out on the deal. Has that ever happened to you?

How many times have you lost out on opportunities because you stopped at the fork? You weren’t sure which way to go or which route was better, so you didn’t take the turn when you came to the fork and stood where you were.

Many people play it safe and they get stuck in a job that doesn’t bring them joy anymore but there’s a sense of security. Months turn into years and before long they’ve been at the job for a decade or more.

Life is too short and everything could change in an instant in your life. The more time you spend doing things that don’t give you joy, is time wasted, which you could have spent doing things that you enjoy.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it – Yogi Berra

He who takes no chances wins nothing – Danish Proverb

Take a chance. You never know how perfect something might turn out to be – unknown

Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare – Dale Carnegie

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself – Sren Kierkegaard

Never regret taking a chance, even if you fall on your face; It’s better to know you tried and failed than to wonder the great “what if?”. – Devin Frye

www.mindvasana.com

Illusion of Control: Isn’t it Ironic

9 Comments

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
A traffic jam when you’re already late
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife…”
Alanis Morissette

Life does have a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think you have everything under control.

If you are one of those people that need to feel in control of your life and everything you do, what happens when things don’t go the way you planned?

You have an important meeting and you give yourself enough time to make it there on time. You get into your car and run into a traffic jam or the subway trains have stopped running because of an incident on the tracks.

You honk or cuss but you’re stuck, there’s nothing you can do, so you get yourself worked up and your blood pressure goes through the roof. You get to the important meeting only to find out it was the wrong day and now you’re mad at yourself.

There are many things you have no control over, like the weather, traffic, getting old, death, what people think of you, your past, pleasing everyone or a future the way you planned it.

The only thing you have control over is your attitude and how you react to a situation when things don’t go the way you think it should. You cannot control a lot of things including what other people think, say, feel or do. You can only control you.

If you are someone who needs to plan everything and expect it to go exactly the way you planned it, then you’re probably also the type of person who stresses and freaks out when things don’t go as planned.

To minimize the damage, you could try and figure out all the things that could go wrong and try and prevent them from happening and think of alternatives but there will always be some things that you cannot foresee.

It is good to remember that for anything that goes wrong or does not go the way you expected, there could be an even better unexpected outcome. You may not see it in the moment but in the grand scheme of life, this will be a minor incident.

When you look back at your life and think of a time when you thought you were going through the worst experience of your life; that you couldn’t possible take it anymore. What were some of the positive outcomes that came out of it in the end?

Perhaps, you didn’t get into a school of your choice or didn’t get that promotion, maybe you were let go from a job or your relationship didn’t work out, only to look back and realize that it was probably the best thing that happened to you because something unexpected and better came along.

For me, there was a time when I was in a terrible abusive marriage and wanted to give up on life because I was young and naïve and did not think there was anything I could do. I felt helpless and ashamed and did not feel like I could tell my family or friends so I stayed in the marriage for a few years until one day I finally decided anything was better than this and left.

That was the best decision and after a lot of other life experiences, I met my current husband, Louie, who always puts me first, above all and even though there are many things which we think so differently about, he loves and accepts me as I am and is always looking out for me. He is my biggest supporter, the one who is always there for me. We’ve been together for over 30 years, supporting each other.

When I look back now, I could never have imagined the life I have now, being free, loved, at peace and happy. My advice to anyone who is going through anything terrible is to remember that nothing lasts forever. There is always someone who can help you, trust a friend, tell someone what you are going through and know that you will get through this and come out stronger.

Life is too short to focus on the negative, hanging on to anger, regrets and pain. It is best to do what you can, do your best, prepare where you can and then let go of the outcome.

I have heard it said that if you hold on to your anger for more than 2-3 minutes, it can have a negative effect on your health, not to mention relationships that break because things were said in the heat of the moment which sometimes cannot be mended.

The faster you can change your focus from anger, fear or helplessness to a positive one, the better you will feel. Once you have done all you can to prepare, let go and go-with-the-flow. Detach yourself from the outcome and trust that the universe will ensure that whatever happens, it will be for the best.

Here are a few simple things you can do when things aren’t going the way you want it to:

  1. Take some deep breaths when you feel anxiety coming on
  2. Ask yourself whether this will matter a few years from now
  3. Express your feelings to someone you trust
  4. Write how you feel in a journal and options how to get through it
  5. Don’t beat yourself up, acknowledge your feelings and see what you can do to make the situation better
  6. Remind yourself that this is temporary, nothing lasts forever
  7. Look back at times in your life when you came through fine after a hard time
  8. Ask yourself what could be the positive outcome of this negative situation
  9. Listen to motivating podcasts or music that makes you feel better
  10. Meditate, there are lots of free meditation recordings on Youtube and free apps
  11. Go for a walk in nature, get some fresh air
  12. Workout, do yoga or dance
  13. Remember that everyone goes through good times and bad times and what matters is how you react to the situation
  14. Be grateful for lessons learnt
  15. Get a life coach to help you live your best life

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don’t have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it. Chris Pine

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. Brian Tracy

It’s not the situation, but whether we react negative or respond positive to the situation that is important. Zig Ziglar