Goodbye doesn’t mean forever

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Goodbye doesn’t mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn’t mean
We’ll never be together again
If you wake up and I’m not there, I won’t
Be long away
‘Cause the things you do my Goodbye Girl
Will bring me back to you”
Goodbye Girl – David A. Gates

The hardest part of “hellos” in some ways, is knowing you probably will have to say goodbye someday. 

Some people come into your life for a few moments, some for a season, some for decades and some remain in your heart forever.

There are some people you wish you had never met but in the end you realize that they came into your life because there were lessons you had to learn from them.

Life happens and people change. You lose touch with people that are close to you, sometimes by choice and sometimes not. 

There are times when people move away to another city or country. Sometimes it’s a job that takes someone away or a divorce or death. Many times there is nothing we can do to change or stop it.

Other times it’s a misunderstanding or something petty that could have been avoided. All those beautiful shared memories are forgotten in an instant.

There are people you may meet when on vacation or at an event and you instantly feel a connection but you may never see them again.

The people that you feel closest to are people that you have shared good times, hard times and many times the ones you share your blood with, your close family. 

For many of us, there are special bonds with our children, our siblings and parents that are in our DNA and we can’t help but care about them and feel sad when it’s time to say goodbye when we live in different parts of the world. 

I think the hardest goodbye is letting go of your children. You want them to go fly on their own and be happy living their life but at the same time there’s a piece of you that seems to be missing when they are not with you.

The best way, I have found, is to live in the present, putting your focus in the moment. Worrying only happens when you’re thinking of the past or the future, the two things you cannot do anything about.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the “good” in “goodbyes” but I guess, if it’s hard to say goodbye then it was worth it. It means that we have something special that causes us to feel sad. 

So goodbye doesn’t mean forever, we’ll meet again in our memories or when we see each other again.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh

“Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.” — Disney

“Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.” — Trey Parker

“The easiest way to find out how you feel about someone. Say goodbye.” — Phil Knight

“You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.” — Frederick Buechner

“Goodbyes are not forever, goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you until we meet again.” — Unknown

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you.” — A. A. Milne

Me looking at you, you looking at me

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Just as I thought it was goin’ alright
I found out I’m wrong, when I thought I was right
It’s always the same, it’s just a shame, that’s all
I could say day, and you’d say night
Tell me it’s black, when I know that it’s white
Always the same, it’s just a shame and that’s all”
That’s All – Genesis

It’s always the same, it’s a shame… when our egos get in the way. You think you are right and so do I.

Relationships are fragile. You could be friends with someone, and one day they do something or say something, and you cut them out of your life in an instant. All the good times and memories are washed away just so that you can be right.

You get on your high horse refusing to understand or see why they may have said or done what they did at that time. Most of us only see things from our own perspective, finding it almost impossible to understand the other person’s perspective.

It could be that they were wrong, but they were young and still learning, exploring, growing and may not even think the same way they did when they were younger.

Or they may be an introvert and if you are an extrovert expecting them to behave in a certain way it may seem like they did not care but really, they were just being their reserved self.

As years go by and you become a little wiser you realize the reasons were so trivial but our ego get in the way and we refuse to bridge the gap and instead keep riding the high horse.

I know for myself, when I look back, there are many times that I would have done things differently knowing what I know now. We are all works in progress and all trying to do our best. So, let’s forgive and forget the small things that won’t matter in the long run. Life is too short.

If we want to live a life that attracts more positive things, then we need to let go of that ego and send out positive vibes in everything and in every relationship that we engage in.

All you need is love, let all the rest rest in peace.

“When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” — Abraham Joshua Heschel

“To err on the side of kindness is seldom an error.” — Liz Armbruster

“Kindness begins with the understanding that we all struggle.” — Charles Glassman

“To be kind is more important than to be right.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls, families, and nations.” — Paramahansa Yogananda

Just an Average Joe in this Modern World

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Tell me somethin’, girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?

I’m falling
In all the good times I find myself longin’ for change
And, in the bad times, I fear myself”
Shallow – Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper (from “A Star Is Born” soundtrack)

If you are an average Joe, does that mean you are not successful even if you are happy with your life? In this hustle culture world, everybody seems to be chasing fame and success.

How do you define success? When are you finally truly satisfied? Is wanting more and more and never being satisfied being successful? How much is enough?

What if someone is happy being mediocre or average? What if they are doing what they love and are doing it for the love of doing it? Would they be considered not successful?

Instead of trying to be “special”, you can be your ordinary average, happy self. In the end, what do you truly need? If you are in a career that you are passionate about, doing what you love, you’re one of the lucky ones.

You come into this world with nothing, and you will leave with nothing so, in between life and death ensure that you are living a life that is fulfilling because that is all that you get.

I had a realization when I was travelling recently with only a carry-on suitcase that if I were to lose every material possession I left behind at home, I would be okay. All that I needed I had on me, my passport, my phone and a few essentials. The realization was liberating.

To me what is important now, is my health, my family, my friends, being able to travel, taking courses I enjoy, being grateful and satisfied with what I have, waking up joyful most days and doing what I want to do and having the freedom to do so, along with peace of mind. Anything more than that is extra for me.

How about you? Are you living the life you want or just going through the motions? Living the life you want begins with having the right mindset and taking the first step.

“The greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never want where the mind is satisfied.” – Lucretius

“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” – ― G.K. Chesterton

“He who is not satisfied with a little is satisfied with nothing.” – ― Epicurus

I Chose Not to Accept the Guilt Bestowed 

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“I stretched back and I hiccuped
And looked back on my busy day
Eleven hours in the Tin Pan
God, there’s got to be another way

Well, who are you?
(who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Oh, who are you?
(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Come on tell me who are you?”
Who are you – The Who

Who are you?

Most of us show a different version of ourselves depending on who we are with. How many faces do you have? Are you the same person at work and at home and with your friends?

So, who are you really? If you stop for a bit and peel back the many layers that you have draped over the years and figure out which version of you is the real you, that is when you begin to live a life of your own design.

What are you doing when you are in that zone? Who are you with? Behind the smoke and mirrors is the true you, the authentic you and therefore the happiest you. All you need to do then is, be yourself and see your life unfold in flow but many of us live in guilt.

I think I have come a long way and now I don’t feel guilty for the choices I make as much. I mostly do what I want to do and talk myself out of feeling guilty when people expect me to be a certain way or to do certain things.

I am learning to let go and have learnt that I am not responsible for how other people feel. I need to honour what my heart desires and not do things because of guilt. I believe that guilt, shame, stress, fear all release hormones that can lead to serious health issues.

No one can “make” you feel guilty, you have a choice whether to accept the guilt when someone tries to bestow it upon you or, honour that you may want to do something different.

You have a right to your feelings just as much as the other person has a right to theirs. We are all so different so all we can do is accept that we are looking at others through our own perspective. What you like, I may not like but that does not make you righter.

If we stop giving unsolicited advice and stop judging others, if we accept that we are all different, we would all be happier. Stop waiting for someone to do what you want, or stop being chained by guilt in any decision that you make.

Life is too short…so be who you are and do what makes you happy and let other people be happy doing what makes them happy. Live and let live.

“The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.” – Ayn Rand

“I have no guilt. Whatever I do, I enjoy and it’s the point. I think if you start to feel guilty about it, that’s a problem. So, no guilty pleasures. I have pleasure and no guilt at all.” – Eric Ripert

The Perks of Living Your Life

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“You’re simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I’ve ever met
Ooh, you’re the best”
The Best – Tina Turner

The lyrics don’t really have anything to do with my blog this month, it’s to honour and acknowledge Tina Turner and the legacy she left behind.

This month my blog is about realizing that the perks of living your life at any age is a perk in itself.

The perk of getting to live longer is that, as you get older, you care less about what other people think of you and you begin to live life the way YOU want to live.

You like me, when you were younger or even a few years back, probably, did or did not do things or at least did not post or talk about them because you thought people would judge you.

What freedom it brings to do what your heart desires, post as many pictures as you want, go to concerts, go dancing, dress the way you want and, not care what people think is appropriate for you to do at your age!

I love to dance, I love music, I love concerts, I love to travel, I love books, I love to write, I love watching movies, I love conferences and retreats that have to do with personal growth, I love taking courses and learning, I love spending time with friends and family. I am a foodie, I love walking on the beach, I love cruises, I love hypnosis and meditation and I love people.

I love all the older bands and singers like Dire Straits, Rod Stewart, Pink Floyd, Uriah Heep, Foreigner, Eagles and many others but I also love music from the 80’s 90’s and 2000’s. I love Arcade Fire, Cold Play, Ed Sheeran, Imagine Dragons, Enrique Iglesias and too many others to list.

I believe there comes a time when you realize that, in order to live a life of your own design that is easy for you, all you need to do is be yourself. Live and let live is my motto.

Life is too short to care about what anyone else thinks because they are probably not thinking of you, they are busy thinking of what others are thinking of them.

A certain percentage of people in your life will find fault with anything you do; a larger percentage could not care less about what you do and then there are the ones that love and care about you and just want you to do what makes you happy. Those are your tribe and the ones that matter.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind, as one wise person once said.

Life is short and as we get older it gets shorter! Live life to the fullest, do things you enjoy so that you have no regrets.

“It’s not about being happy all the time or being sure of all your choices. It’s about knowing that life is precious, even when it’s tough.” – Topher Kearby

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” – Dale Carnegie

“If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.” – Mother Teresa

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” – John Lennon

If You Could Read My Mind

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“If you could read my mind, love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
‘Bout a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as I am a ghost, you can’t see”
If You Could Read My Mind – Gordon Lightfoot

If you could read my mind, you would see that we have a lot in common. You, like me, undoubtedly have made many mistakes and learnt valuable lessons along your journey in life.

Some of us make the same mistake more than once until we learn the lesson we were meant to learn. We all have had regrets, have failed, have judged others, acted on impulse, been hurt or hurt others, have been jealous and envious. We have let Ego get in the way of relationships, tried to control situations and a whole lot more.

Even those that seem so evolved have moments of fear, insecurity and negative reactions. The only difference is that they recognize their shortcomings and can change their mindset and behaviour quickly so as not to go too far down that path of negativity.

What I know for sure is that we only have this moment. There is nothing you can do to change the past but what you do Now is what will create your future. What you think, feel, say and do will attract what you get. You can decide at any moment to change your future by changing your Now.

I also know that you cannot make a person understand a message they are not ready to receive. I am sure if as a 15- or 20-year-old, someone had told me the exact steps to take to move in the direction of living a happy and peaceful life, I would not have heard or made an effort to understand and act on the message.

There are 60 and 70 years old who still have not understood the message, but it is there for everyone who wants to learn. For me, the number one thing that has made a difference is writing every night things that I am grateful for in my life.

By writing what I am grateful for every day, I get even more things to be thankful for in my life. If you only do this one thing to begin with, you will see your mind shift and every area in your life will change for the better.

There are a few other things that I do daily that have helped me start my day right. I meditate or listen to guided meditations first thing in the morning.

When you are in that half-awake state just as you are about to fall asleep or when you are waking up it is a hypnotic state where your subconscious mind can absorb and make profound changes.

The other thing that I do is journal, where I can dump all that I am feeling or thinking and let go of things that are bothering me. Some other things that have helped me are, working out during the week, listening to inspiring podcasts and audiobooks and reading.

Life is a journey and there will be many challenges and lessons to learn along the way. I have found the best way to respond to whatever may come is to prepare myself by grounding myself through my morning routine.

Meditation does not have to be sitting in a quiet place trying to get rid of your thoughts. Meditation can be walking in nature, noticing the flowers, the trees, the birds, the sky or gardening or cooking. Doing what you love, when you are in the zone that is a form of meditation.

What morning routines do you have?

“Happiness depends on your mindset and attitude.” ― Roy T. Bennett

“Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else.” ― George Orwell

“It’s all in the mind.” ― George Harrison

“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes”. – Mahatma Gandhi

“Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind”. – William James

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves”. – Gautama Buddha

You Can Go Your Own Way

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“You can go your own way
Go your own way
You can call it
Another lonely day
You can go your own way
Go your own way”
Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

The only way to go is your own way. People may have opinions and even call you crazy with the decisions you make but, in the end, it is your life, and you only have one in this lifetime so do what makes you happy.

Everybody is looking at things from their own perspective and no one will fully understand why exactly someone does what they do because they are basing it on their own past experiences or fears.

Live your life the way you want, do what makes you happy and stop judging others for the way they choose to live their lives. Live and let live.

Life is too short to worry about what others think. In fact, they probably are not thinking of you, they are busy thinking about their own problems, and you are most likely just a fleeting thought in their mind.

If you have been living your life trying to please everyone else and have forgotten about yourself, it is never too late to sit down and make a list of all the things you enjoy doing that makes you happy.

Find ways to take small steps so that one day you will be doing more of the things that you enjoy. Life was meant to be enjoyable not miserable. If you hate your job, find ways to start a side hustle that eventually becomes your full-time job or do it as a hobby.

If you are retired, this is the time to pick up all the things you enjoyed doing when you were younger. Try new things, do all the things you had no time to do before and do them for fun.

When our daughter was a little girl, she would wake up early just to watch the show Relic Hunter. She would watch endless re-runs of the show and we knew she dreamed of one day becoming an Archaeologist and she worked hard to make her dream come true.

We always encouraged her to study and do what she was passionate about and never pressured her to look for a career that guaranteed financial security. She is all grown up now and living life on her own terms.

All I want at this stage in my life is to be happy and healthy and I wish the same for everyone. Do what you love or love what you do. The choice in the end is always yours.

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”—Lao Tzu

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”— Dr. Seuss

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”—Steve Jobs

“You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.” ― Olin Miller

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.” – Khalil Gibran

www.mindvasana.com

These Reckless Thoughts of Mine

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“Wherever you go, whatever you do
You know these reckless thoughts of mine are following you
I’m falling for you, whatever you do
‘Cause baby, you’ve shown me so many things that I never knew
Whatever it takes, baby, I’ll do it for you”
Stumblin In – Chris Norman and Suzi Quatro

Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

Have you noticed how nothing that hasn’t happened can’t harm you?

You know those reckless thoughts of yours that follow you everywhere? The cause of stress and fear is in the thinking of the thought of something in the future, that may or may not happen that causes us pain.

If you brought yourself back to where you are right now, in this moment you are safe. The things you see or imagine that could go wrong, things that you have no control over, those future events that haven’t happened are those which cause you fear and anxiety. Things that haven’t happened and may never happen.

Every time you notice any stress or anxiety it’s because you’re thinking about something in the future. If you bring your awareness to that thought and consciously bring yourself to the present moment, in the Now where you are okay, the anxiety will disappear…at least for a bit until you start thinking about the thought again.

If we don’t control our thoughts, our thoughts control us. It isn’t easy to do but if we try and notice the thought and let it pass though without engaging in it and bring our attention to the present, we may learn to live a happier life.

It’s a constant battle especially for those that find it hard to go with the flow and need to be always prepared or be in control of every situation.

As we know, we cannot control everything so the smarter thing to do is to control our thoughts so that it’s not controlling us.

In this moment that you are breathing, you are okay and until you take your last breath, it’s not the end. So, follow those reckless thoughts of yours and then let go of them as soon as you notice them and breathe into NOW.

“Change the way you see things and the things you see will change.” – Wayne Dyer

“The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.” – Wayne Dyer

“A lot of the pain that we are dealing with are really only thoughts.” – Anonymous

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” — Nathaniel Hawthorne

“The mind is everything. What we think, we become.” — Buddha

www.mindvasana.com

Wherever I Go, There I Am

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there’s nothing to lose
And there’s nothing to prove
I’ll be dancing with myself”
Dancing With Myself – Billy Idol

Wherever you go, there you are. You can be in a crowded dance floor or in a crowded city, the location may change but the only thing that is the same is you in all these places.

Everybody sees things through their own perspective. Your childhood experiences, your environment, your relationships, all mould you into the person that you become.

Sometimes we play the victim of our circumstances and think that life is cruel or unfair. We wonder why we are unlucky or why negative things happen to us all the time and get stuck in that cycle expecting the worst and guess what, we get more of that.

I have learnt over the years that if I want to change anything, I need to change my thoughts about the situation. If I want positivity in my life, I need to be positive. I cannot control everything; all I can control are my thoughts, which then create the emotions and lead me to act in a certain way.

As time passes, we grow, and some of us learn that nothing is good or bad, it’s the perspective that we give it. We can be in the exact same situation but have totally different experiences.

We are all on our own journeys and sometimes I must remind myself not to judge, to be kind and to accept that we are all different and instead of absorbing any negative energy, to shine some light and love instead. This is not always easy but then, we are all works in progress. We try and do better when we know better.

“The secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be, and then making the most of it”. – Anonymous

“Sometimes happiness is a feeling. Sometimes it’s a decision”. – Anonymous

“We can’t control the world. We can only (barely) control our own reactions to it. Happiness is largely a choice, not a right or entitlement”. – David C. Hill

Every Time She Closed Her Eyes, She Dreamt of Paradise

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu 

“When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes”
Paradise – Coldplay

This New Year when you look at your New Year’s Resolution take a few minutes to acknowledge all that you accomplished last year whether big or small.

Pat yourself on the back for, letting go of things that no longer serve you, for being there for a friend going through a serious illness, for coping with all kinds of challenges, learning something new, getting a job, buying your first home, limiting your on-screen time, reading books, making time to do fun things or anything else that you can think of.

When reviewing your list for the New Year, don’t just list them, remember to add some emotions to your goals too. How will you feel when you drop those 10 pounds, pass that exam, get that dream job, move to another country or when you find your soulmate?

Make a list of things that you are thankful for. The more grateful you are for the things you already have, the more things you will get to be grateful for.

If you haven’t already, add “balance” to your list because if every area of your life is going well except for one, such as your relationship with your spouse or your health, can you truly be happy? Only you can answer that question.

Our thoughts create our emotions so choose your thoughts wisely. Each one of us at some point in our life is going to experience or go through rough patches but how we choose to think and believe about our situation or circumstances is going to determine how we feel.

Let go of things you cannot control and focus on the things you can. Go with the flow and always remember that life is happening for you not to you. Relationships are important, the more positive energy you give out, the more you will receive.

In reality, we already have all that we need once our basic needs are met, everything else is nice to have so make the most of all that you have and have yourself a very Happy New Year!

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” — Dalai Lama

“Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.” — Charles Swindoll

“Believing that you need what you don’t currently have is insanity.” Wayne Dyer

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

www.mindvasana.com

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For 

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”
I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2

I still haven’t found what I’m looking for, but I have learnt some valuable lessons along the way. One of them is to let go of things that don’t serve me. With the close of another year, here are a few things we can strive to LET GO of:

  1. Guilt – could have, should have, would have, but we can’t change the past 
  1. Shame – when you know better you do better 
  1. Anger – notice when you’re that angry person, you tend to attract angry people 
  1. Expectations – no one owes you anything 
  1. What people think of you – is only an opinion, doesn’t make it true 
  1. How other people feel – you are not responsible for other people’s emotions, and they are not responsible for yours 
  1. Accumulating material possessions – can’t take it with you 
  1. Worrying about the future – there is only now 
  1. People pleasing – not being true to yourself
  1. Fear – of things you have no control over 
  1. Giving advice – must remember to give advice only if asked 
  1. Waiting for others to do things with – just do it! 
  1. Criticism of others – don’t judge others, we all have our flaws 
  1. Criticism of self – if you’re going to eat that dessert, enjoy it, stop justifying or imagining your waist is expanding as you eat it 🙂 
  1. Thinking you are always right – be kind instead. There are always two sides to everything 
  1. Procrastination – maybe tomorrow? 
  1. Waiting for the perfect time – do what you want now, tomorrow isn’t promised 
  1. New Year’s Resolutions – every second is a chance to start again, give yourself permission to start again if you fall off the wagon 
  1. Controlling your adult children – it’s their life to do as they please 
  1. Controlling your parents – they’re a couple of decades ahead of us, been there, done that 
  1. Negative thoughts because your thoughts create your mood. Think happy positive thoughts and see how your mood changes 

What else can you let go of that is no longer serving you? At any moment you can choose to let go and start fresh. All you need to do is give yourself permission.

“As long as you’re still alive, you always have the chance to start again.” – Emily Acker

“A fresh start isn’t a new place, it’s a new mindset.” – Anonymous

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” – Lao Tzu

“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” – Guy Finley

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need”. – Tao Te Ching

“Sooner or later we’ve all got to let go of our past”. – Dan Brown

www.mindvasana.com

The wine and the song like the seasons have all gone

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone”
Seasons in the Sun – Terry Jacks

As the days get shorter and the nights get longer, there are days when I cannot help but think that nothing lasts forever.

Leaves turn different shades of gold and red and then suddenly the trees are bare. Another season is done, and another year will soon be gone.

I try not to think about it too much but every now and then it crosses my mind about people in my life. Who will still be here this time next year and who will be gone? Will we all meet again on the dark side of the moon someday?

All the petty conflicts seem pointless in the grand scheme of this journey we call life. We are here for a brief amount of time, and we get to choose how to spend it. Is it worth holding grudges, judging each other, letting our ego get in the way of relationships?

I believe in karma and that our every action has a consequence. What you give you will get in return in some form. The more you see the good in people and situations, the more you will attract the same.

Our thoughts create our reality so whatever we believe and perceive is what we draw to us. Send out good vibrations and get ready to receive the same. We may not be able to control many things, but we can control our reaction to things.

At any moment, we can decide to change the channel of our thoughts just like using a remote control to change to another channel. If we go with the flow, trusting the Universe, knowing that everything will work out the way it is meant to and let go of control, then we can have faith and let go of our fears.

We cannot change the past, however, we can transform our future by focusing on the NOW. What we believe, think, do in the present is what creates our future, and the future therefore is now.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”

“Forgiving and not forgetting is, not forgiving in the first place”

“The way you see an individual in your mind is the best they can be in your presence”

“Reality is just perception”

“Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that you give it”

“People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”

These quotes are taken from the internet

www.mindvasana.com

Living in a World of Smoke and Mirrors

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

Deep in my heart, deep in my mind
Take me away, take me away
This is my word, dream maker, life taker
Open up my mind

All I believe, is it a dream
That comes crashing down on me?
All that I hope, is it just smoke and mirrors?
I wanna believe, oh But all that I hope, is it just smoke and mirrors?

Smoke and Mirrors – Imagine Dragons

We are all living in a world of smoke and mirrors. What is real and what is false? Have you ever wondered how many different versions there are of you out there?

You, like me, I am sure, behave differently when you are happy than when you are afraid, sick, tired or even hungry. Whatever you are feeling at that moment is, metaphorically speaking, the one answering the front door and reacting to the situation at hand.

It’s a different version of you in front when you are doing something you enjoy and a totally different you when it is a task that you hate doing.

You are likely different when you are with a friend than when you are interacting with your boss or with your parents or with a stranger. So, which one is the real you?

The many versions of you that you show the world, are all you, but it is all a smoke and mirrors game that we play according to our beliefs, perceptions and intentions.

Every person that you interact with sees a different version of you too because of their own perceptions and beliefs.

Generally speaking, we are all a little bit of everything. Some may love us while others may loathe us depending on our interactions with them and their perceptions of us.

We are all flawed and instead of seeing each other as human, sometimes we tend to judge each other for maybe something someone said or did at a moment in their lives but that’s no longer true or something they believe anymore.

People change and grow and learn all the time. We waste precious time and emotions being and staying angry instead of trying to accept that not everyone shares our point of view and that does not mean they are all bad.

As we grow and mature and evolve, we realize that life is too short to waste, to hate, judge and control. We only have a finite amount of time on this earth and then we are gone from this physical realm, so leave good vibes and memories for those who cross your path. Forgive and forget the petty conflicts and let go of your ego.

We were meant to be happy and although we cannot control anyone else, we always have a choice of how we react because that is the only thing we can control.

Once you integrate all the different parts that make up “You”, you can choose who you want answering your front door because you are in control of you.

“Everything is about belief, whatever we believe rules our existence, rules our life” – Don Miguel Ruiz

“The more I see, the less I know for sure.” – John Lennon

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – ― Carl Gustav Jung

“Humans see what they want to see.” – Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

“The outer world is a reflection of the inner world. Other people’s perception of you is a reflection of them; your response to them is an awareness of you.” – Roy T. Bennett

www.mindvasana.com

There Is No Problem Only Solutions

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“People askin’ questions
Lost in confusion
Well, I tell them there’s no problem
Only solutions

Well, they shake their heads
And they look at me as if I’ve lost my mind
I tell them there’s no hurry
I’m just sittin’ here doin’ time
I’m just sittin’ here watchin’ the wheels go round and round”
Watching The Wheels – John Lennon

As the years go by it feels like we are watching the wheels go round and round, year after year. Seasons change, another candle on the birthday cake, a child is born, and someone dies. The cycle of life carries on.

Some go through the motions of living while others search for meaning. Some live in the past, while others worry about the future. Happy are those that can live in the present.

Life can be so simple, yet we complicate it so much. My take on how to live a simple joyful life:

  1. Be grateful for everything, whether good or bad. Some were just lessons you had to learn. 
  1. Smile – it can literally change how you feel and how you make others feel. 
  1. Spend time with people that are optimistic and happy, those are the people that are happy wherever they go, they never complain.  
  1. See the good in people. What you see in others is the energy you will attract into your life. 
  1. Create daily habits. You make your habits and then your habits make you. There are no shortcuts to living the life you want. 
  1. Make a bucket list of things you want to experience or do. 
  1. Let go of attachments, one of the hardest things to do. 
  1. Travel and experience life instead of accumulating material possessions. 
  1. Have fun, do things you enjoy. Life is meant to be lived joyfully. Listen to music and dance or do whatever it is that makes you happy. 
  1. If you are starting out now, find a career that is meaningful to you. You will be doing it for a long time. 
  1. Let go of any guilt or shame that you are carrying. Forgive yourself because if you knew then what you know now, you would not have done what you did to cause that guilt. 
  1. What other people think of you, is none of your business. They only see you from their own perspective. 
  1. Let go of things you cannot control and focus on the things you can control. 
  1. Stop blaming people or situations and stop playing the victim. Nobody owes you anything. 
  1. I believe any emotion that we feel, affects every cell in our body. To be physically, mentally, emotionally healthy we need to take care of our thoughts and our beliefs. 

The list could go on and on but you already know what you need to do to live your best life.

“Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after having an experience with you becomes your trademark.” Jay Danzie

“Smile from your heart; nothing is more beautiful than a woman (person) who is happy to be herself.”– Kubra Sait

“When you smile at a stranger, there is already a minute outflow of energy. You become a giver.” — Eckhart Tolle

¨It seems to me that what we call beauty in a face lies in the smile.¨- Leo Tolstoy

www.mindvasana.com

I Hope You Dance

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance… I hope you dance…”
I Hope You Dance – Lee Ann Womack and Sons of the Desert

When we were younger, we worried about what other people thought of us, not realizing that people were not thinking of us, they were too busy being concerned about themselves.

As we grow older, we realize that life is too short and precious to be living seeking other people’s approval. Everyone of us is unique with different likes and dislikes. What brings joy to one person may not be another person’s cup of tea. It is still hard for many of us who worry about other people’s opinions or feelings at the expense of our own.

The thing I miss most after Louie’s passing, is our going out dancing almost every weekend for years. When I went on a cruise with a friend last month, I decided I was not going to care if I was the only one dancing. When I was younger, I would have been too self-conscious to get up and dance unless I had a partner to dance with and there were other people on the dance floor.

This time when the music came on whether it was by the poolside where the band was playing Caribbean beats or at Bolero, the Latin Lounge, or Dazzle where a band was playing pop songs, or at the Blaze night club where there was a mixture of all kinds of music playing, I danced every day, sometimes with my friend Wanda and other times by myself.

What is it that you love to do but would not do because you worry what your partner, kids, friends, or parents or even strangers would think or, disapprove, or even imply that you should act your age?

People only see us from their perception and every person that knows you sees a different version of you. It is not easy to please everyone so why not be true to yourself and do the things that bring you joy? Those that truly love you will let you be you and not try and change you or mold you in their ideal version of how you should be.

I saw this post the other day:

“How to Win at Life:
Step 1. Let people do what they need to do to make them happy, mind your own business and do what you need to do to make you happy. The End.”

Other quotes that relate to this topic:

“The rule is you have to dance a little bit in the morning before you leave the house because it changes the way you walk out into the world” – Sandra Bullock

“In life it’s important to know when to stop arguing with people and simply let them be wrong” – Anonymous
“Listen, smile, agree and then do whatever the f**k you were gonna do anyway” – Anonymous

“Life gets a whole lot more beautiful once you start living for yourself and accept the fact that you cannot please everyone” – Anonymous

www.mindvasana.com

Sweet Smell of Your Perfume

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“Hey, where did we go?
Days when the rains came
Down in the hollow
Playin’ a new game
Laughin’ and a-runnin’, hey, hey
Skippin’ and a-jumpin’
In the misty morning fog with
Our, our hearts a-thumping and you
My brown-eyed girl
And you, my brown-eyed girl”
Brown Eyed Girl – Van Morrison

Certain smells, songs, words or images trigger us and take us back to the exact place when we first experienced that moment. If it was a happy memory, it lifts our spirit and makes us happy. If it was a bad experience then it could trigger us in a negative way.

There are certain people too that trigger us or we trigger them. It could be your mother, father, child, colleague or sibling. Anything they say makes you instinctively respond in a way that you would not respond to anyone else that way.

It could be a subconscious trigger that we are unaware of or past traumas that we have not dealt with. When we change our perception and realize that what people say and do is not in our control and that we can only control our own reactions, then we can find ways so that people no longer trigger us.

“Take a deep breath, resist the urge to act impulsively, name how you feel, put your ego aside, think through the consequences then respond.” Dr. Weiss.

Even just taking a deep breath and naming what you feel will slow down your impulsive response. For deep unconscious/subconscious changes hypnosis works very well.

Nothing anyone says or does is about us. People only respond from where they are at, what they are dealing with and feeling at the moment.

Every thought you have affects your cells in a positive or negative way. The mind and body are both connected. If you eat healthy and workout but are negative, judgemental or pessimistic, studies have shown that it can affect your health in a negative way. The more positive associations you make, the happier you will be.

Listen to music, do things you enjoy, accept everyone as they are, see the good in people, expect the best, count your blessings, appreciate yourself and just be happy. Life is too short to be anything else. We only have a finite amount of time here on earth in this physical body. Live it to the fullest!

“You will be amazed at how things magically fall into place when you let go of the illusion of control.” – TheMindsJournal

“When you focus on the good, the good gets better.” – Motivational Life

“Whatever is triggering you, is on you.” – Richie Norton

I love Piña Coladas and Getting Caught in the Rain

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Blog by: Lata Advani Viseu

“And she said, “Oh, it’s you”
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, “I never knew”
That you like piña coladas
And gettin’ caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne”
Escape (The Piña Colada Song) – Rupert Holmes

I love Piña Coladas, or rather, I like anything that contains coconut. Mangoes with coconut, pineapple with coconut, coconut water, coconut based sauces and drinks, coconut chocolates, basically anything with coconut. Coconuts take me back to memories of beaches and cool ocean breezes. Maybe that is why I love the Piña Colada Song so much. More on that later.

I remember, the first time I went on a cruise, I was looking forward to having my Piña Colada in a poco grande glass which is the cocktail glass used to serve Piña Coladas, but when the bartender brought it in a plastic glass I was so disappointed. Is it not amazing how when we have an image of something in our minds to be a certain way, it is disappointing when it turns out to be anything else?

The Piña Colada Song reminds us too, that sometimes we expect people to behave a certain way and when they don’t, we are disappointed.

I have learnt that we are all imperfectly perfect. If we really got to know each other, shared our deepest thoughts, we would realize we are all the same and connected in some way. We are all here for a short time and none of the petty stuff matters in the grand scheme of things.

I have found that although it is hard to change our beliefs and our thoughts, there are many different modalities out there that can help change our unconscious/subconscious beliefs to live a life with less anxiety, fears and negativity.

The first seven years of our life are the most important and critical to who we become the rest of our life. From 0 to 7 years of age, children operate in the Theta state which is a state of hypnosis, downloading whatever they hear, experience or see and that stays with them for the rest of their life.

To change any negative experiences that we have had in our childhood that have affected us into our adult life, the fastest way to change them permanently is through hypnosis. There is this misconception about hypnosis, that it is evil or scary but we all go through a form of hypnosis or trance at least twice a day, once just before we fall asleep or when we are just waking up.

When you realize that your thoughts become things, that the words you speak, the thoughts you think, they all create emotions in your body that affect your physical and mental well-being, you know you have the power to change your life for the better.

An experienced Hypnotist puts you in this trance-like state that bypasses your critical faculty to make those changes permanently and to remove any blocks you may have so that you can live your best life.

You can also do it on your own through repetition, mentally replacing any old limiting belief with a positive one, journalling, meditation and many different ways. Working with a professional Hypnotist, Mind-set Coach, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Coach or other Practitioners is by far the fastest way for lasting change.

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” – Mae West

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” – Captain Jack Sparrow

www.mindvasana.com